Facelift

Current Mood: pissed
Current Colour: seeing red
Current Music: tv
Current Annoyance: ppl who dont like me to input into conversations... ppl trying to make conversation ma... if i dun talk ppl say i'm sulking again n not sociable

Nothing much to blog coz got mood killer at home... ppl cannaot kill that person's mmod but that person can kill other's mood la... grr...

Anyways, in d next few days would be giving my bloggie a face lift. Deleting some entries, esp those of me ranting about more oh-so-boring job. Why can't I have a job half as exciting as what I studied? The closes thing to a production set/ studio i have now is the RTB studios!!! *Groan* Can't wait til Rama announce that Curtin would be offering MA in mass Comm... though he did say it could be Media Management... Not my kinda thing... prefer to work my way up first... It's weird that nowadays ppl tend to get managerial jobs without knowing what they are supposed to be managing. I mean, if a person is a Media manager, of course he/she needs to have a knowledge and experience of the people they are managing. eg, managing a TV network... should know how TV programming is done, handled, the selection proccess that has to be done when selecting tv shows, time slots, adverts etc... Besides... I'm kinda sick of working in an office with no action! LOL... need the adrenaline rush, moving here and there, working under extreme pressure... Syok man!!

Anyways... I'll better stop before I go off ranting about my 'job' again... People would think i hate my job. No I don't actually hate it. Frankly speaking.. I don't feel anything about it. I do what I have to do, not because I want to but because I have to. Most ppl hate their bosses... Mine's not bad. Pretty nice. too bad I cant say the same about my DOB (only I know what DOB means) colleagues... Plus... the AGE GAP!! and the lack of men... Married older men with kids my age or older ada lah in my office but sorry... Not interested at all... Sigh...

PPl think I hate my life in Brunei... Truly, if this is any other country and my life is still like this, I'd stil hate it. It's not the country (unless it's a country where I can actually see/meet young hot guys and not boring old people only)... it's d ppl (or lack of ppl) I'm around. Need to hang out with more younget ppl... Other ppl can hang out with their colleagues after work... Mine? Hello... they haf families to return to. Had so much fun that day cruising around and hanging out at coffeebean til pass midnight with Lina & Khiong... and coming back only when my parents were already sleeping! hahaha... Definitely better than coming back from workand crashing on d bed
each night, day in and day out...

Pain...

Current Mood: melancholic
Current Colour: navy blue, dark red
Current Music: Pain by Three Day's Grace
Current Annoyance: Get out of my head!
Current Obsession: getting someone out of my system again

this song's one of my fav new songs... cant find the CD song manage to get the ring tone. Saw d music vid on MTV & loved d song from the first time... Lyrics says it all... got a "relapse". wonder when can I get over this????

Pain - Three Days Grace (Album- One X)

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
‘Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand
This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing
Rather feel pain

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain

Thank God it wasn't him!

Current Mood: tired
Current Colour: black
Current Music: sleeping with the lights on (busted)
Current Annoyance: my body aching
Current Obsession: sudoku on my N73! oh noooo....
Current Physical Ailment: body aching all over

Sigh... cant sleep again. so checking mail & what not. hmm... was reading my previous entry. hahahha... wanna laugh la. Was laughing d other day. I saw d guy-who-looks-like-Sunshine at airport. he was checking in. same flight as my sis. i had a good look at him. Definitely NOT Sunshine! why?

1. his nose is sharper & lips r different.
2. face is smaller & sharper. kinda ratty! lol.
3. he is a left hander (Sunshine's right handed. I should know. I observe him enough to know dat)
4. SKINNIER!!!
5. shorter
6. when i really got to look at him, i realised his build is not d same. small shoulders, d waist also different. dunno how i can tell but yeah.
7. his ass!! His Ass made me decide it wasn't Sunshine! LOL! Why? coz Sunshine's ass was wider! lol. and rounder and so nice to look at that it makes one wanna smack it! huhuhu...

hahaha... I sound like a perv la! But hey, I stare at his ass enough to enjoy it. din help dat he even purposely raise his t-shirt a bit to show his sexy red undies & then tug his short up... in front of me IN THE RAIN... after we got to uni... together... LOL. huh? together? hehehe... ader la... not gonna tell... *wink wink*

U shud haf heard my sighs of relieve when I realised it wasn't him. Kus semangat! Nearly died when i thought it was him. why? coz if it was him... i'd probably die of curiosity why he's here 7 all dat. Plus I had a weird dream abt him becoming a manager in brunei & we get invited to d same function (by French embassy at Yacht club!! must. be. wary. if. i. get.invite. from. french. embassy). weird, weird , WEIRD!!!

anyways... happy it's all over. but stress out coz my boss it back & i feel like my ass is gonna get busted. dunno la. when she was away office was very tensed bah. I have d feeling i used to have in uni or sch when i feel/know/think dat i will get called up and get busted! damn!

I thought I saw Sunshine in Brunei!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: confused
Current Colour: navy blue... hehehe
Current Music: some a1 songs my sis is playing... sigh remind me of......
Current Annoyance: was it you just now?
Current Obsession: is he is brunei?
Current Physical Ailment: headache due to confusion! heart ache is back again coz it remembers all d beautiful things of 2003-2004... sigh....

I just need to blog before I go crazy! was waiting 4 dad after work & i saw this guy talking to another guy (I assume asking something/ directions/ whatever). the first guy's back was facing me but something abt d physical build and mannerism reminded me of -HIM-. was wearing a cap and something abt d side of his face/ jaw under d cap reminded me of... Grrr...

when he walked passed me... aiyoyo... really looks like -HIM- except thinner and darker. height same, eyes, facial features all same. d guy din seem to show any recognisation when he passed me so maybe it's just me being silly and it wasn't him. then again, mayb if it WAS -HIM- then mayb he din recognise me with all my clothes on. eh, dont think d wrong way... i meant, he prob din recognise me (If it was -HIM-) coz he used to see me in skippy spaghetti strap tops and mini skirts in uni. Not that he had seen me nude la... choy! u think i so cheap ah? got offer but u think i want meh? wanna kena disown ka? cheh!

Anyway, now i cant sleep thus am blogging coz me so confused if that was -HIM- of his doppelganger (sp?) Aargh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! d first 2-3 hrs i was grinning like a fool, now my head is spinning like a whirlpool.... oh man. I'm starting to rhyme again. He makes me rhyme & write poems... beware if u get poems in my blog!! Damn!!! if it is him... wat's he doing here? where is his other half (rumoured to have one already...) wt was he doing where he was (just now) and looking for wat? Aaargh!!!! I nearly fell off the steps just now and my heart cud haf dropped out when he passed me. the eyes wa... it was similar... Kinda know how he looks like with out know it is him (physical-wise/ mannerism) coz i probably spent more time studying him than my books (lol... actually yes, i did but cant tell u when & where. but canteen & football field/ basketball court area are some of d places but thr's another place i spent hours 'studying'!).

Grrr... i need sleep!! got work in less than 7 hrs time! probably have night mares dreaming of him stalking me this time! LOL... Sigh... If anyone knows if that was -HIM- or not tell me please!!!! but.. "As if u'll know who -HIM- is!!"

Pictures from 2004

Just an old picture from my uni days... An Orientation Night party I organised. Need to find the original picture (sorry Fi, I cropped you coz I wanted to use the pic as my display pic in MSN). The theme was Hawaiian & Carribean... As u could probably see (if ur eyes r sharp) I was wearing a bikini top! Lol! just needed the top for decency's sake!

Randomness....

Technorati Profile

Blog thing quizes

You Are 60% Extrovert, 40% Introvert

You are quite outgoingYou are a social connector - you know a ton of peopleWhile you aren't a wild extrovert, you are a great talkerA fantastic storyteller, you keep everyone laughing

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

You Are 47% Angry

Generally, you are not an angry person. But you're easily frustrated and enraged. You have one heck of a temper. And because of your anger, you tend to feel resentful and even spiteful. You already know how to quell your anger. You just need to do it more often.

How Angry Are You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

You Should Get a MFA (Masters of Fine Arts)

You're a blooming artistic talent, even if you aren't quite convinced. You'd make an incredible artist, photographer, or film maker.

What Advanced Degree Should You Get?

YES!!! I SHOULD!!!

You Should Be an Actor

You have a flair for the dramatic, and you probably already do a lot of acting in your day to day life, just to entertain yourself. No need to steal the spotlight from your friends... You'll get plenty of attention once you start acting professionally!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

You Are 64% Control Freak

You are a pretty major control freak, though you may not know it. While your confidence is inspiring, your bossy ways tend to scare people off.

Are You A Control Freak?

Hahaha... I am?

You Are Somewhat Mature

You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart. While your immature side is definitely fun, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later.

Are You Immature?

Coz I m a 'teenager' stuck in an office full of 'deperate women...' LOL!! Seems like an episod of Despearte Housewives everyday!

Your Hair Should Be Blue

Wild, brilliant, and out of control. You're a risk taker with an eye to the future.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

You Are 36% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

Your Stress Level is: 62%

You are prone to stress, and you're probably even pretty stressed right now. Life's problems seem to pile up on you, and this often makes you feel depressed and burned out. Learn to take time to relax and enjoy life, even if things are stressful. It's the only way you'll get through the bad times.

How Stressed Are You?

You Should Drive a Bentley Azure

You're all flash, and you love to show off to anyone who will watch. And you're such a high roller, this is just one car of many for you...

What 2007 Car Should You Drive?

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few. But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky. Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

You Are Shadowcat

You're like a little sister to some, but others see you as a sex kitten. You are well trained in martial arts, a bit of a computer geek, and can totally kick butt. Powers: the ability to "phase" through walls and other physical objects

Which of the X-Men Are You?

You Are a Chick Rocker!

You're living proof that chicks can rock You're inspired by Joan Jett and the Donnas And when you rock, you rock hard (Plus, you get all the cute guy groupies you want!)

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

You Are Very Worldly

You're an international jet setter - or pretty darn close. And while you may feel like you have many more places to visit... Most people live their whole lives without seeing what you've seen. In fact, you're probably going to be traveling again soon. So Bon Voyage!

How Worldly Are You?

You Are a Drama Queen (or King)

And the oscar goes to... you! You're all about overreacting and just plain acting. You see the world as your stage, and give a great performance. And while you're friends may find you entertaining at times... Everyone's secretly hoping that you'll just chill a little. (But they'd never tell you - they fear your wrath!)

Are You a Drama Queen (or King)?

Your Birthdate: May 17

You love being in love... so much so that it's very hard for you to be single. Unfortunately, it's difficult for you to stay in love over time. Too many people intrigue you! Only your true love will be able to keep you interested over time. Number of True Loves You'll Have: 1 Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4 You are most compatible with people born on the 8th, 17th, and 26th of the month.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean For Your Love Life?

You are a Rocker Girl!

If you don't have musical talent, you've got a talent for picking out great CD's. Music rules your life - and you've got the best MP3 collection of anyone you know. Many guys find you intimidating, but a select few think you're the catch of a lifetime. Start hanging out in more used record stores, and you'll find love with a fellow rocker!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

You Should Be a Cherry Redhead

Sexy, dramatic, but still sweetly feminine. Perfect for getting out of the hair color doldrums!

What Kind of Redhead Should You Be?

I used to have cherry red hair!! Coincidence?

Your Dream Engagement Ring Has a Marquise Diamond!

Like most Marquise diamond wearers, you are sexy and impulsive. You're also good at getting what you want in life, no matter what it is. You tend to be successful at love, your career, and anything else you desire. Think Victoria Beckham and Catherine Zeta Jones: proud wearers of this ring!

What's Your Dream Engagement Ring?

Your Perfume is Still

You are simply and totally sophisticated. Your style and class mesmerize everyone you meet. Underneath it all, you are delicate and refreshing. You're different enough to make an impression, that's for sure. Power scents: White pepper, musk, and honeysuckle.

What Perfume Are You?

You Are Most Like Christina Aguilera

“I'm experimental by nature...always exploring my creativity.”

What Modern Bombshell Are You Most Like?

Current Mood: dense, dark and moody... probably in a killing mood
Current Colour: b lack
Current Music: jazz (weird for moody mood but jazz is kinda dark too)
Current Annoyance: lots of things. read my other blog... friendster one... go to my links to c access it.
Current Obsession: manicures & pedicures... i go every forthnight!
Current Physical Ailment: sick physically & in d head

what to say? I'm still alive. 'nuff said. read my other blog.

Merry Christmas to all!!

May you all have a happy & blessed Christmas and a prosperous & meaningful new year!! Woo hoo!!!

Sorry, i've been updating lots lately coz i'm so damn busy but what to do? heheheh...


Hope you haf a great Christmas. did you get what you want?? hehehe... in 4 years, I've finally received presents for Christmas!! better still, for once, I've actually received a present fromone of my friends!!! hehehe... last yr I had no presents! And this year I'm so excited abt receiving a present from a friend coz my friends never ever did give me any presents, except Ai Ling but we usually exchange gifts at least twice a year and not during Christmas. hehehe...

Anyway, take care you all...


P/S: not sure who's actually reading this except for Fifi, Lu Jee & Ai Ling as 99% of my friends who I've been trying to "reconnect" to are not responding... So while this is a happy season, I'm actually still slightly broken heart... friends who made plans with me & never did fulfill it, ppl i've contacted to meet up have not replied. ppl that I'm trying to patch up with isn't replying too... Sheesh! So much for "friends you make in university are friends for life!" << note for the Dean of Curtin, don't repeat this at graduation again!

My friends now r those I made when I was a kid and those who I met in uni but never really hung out with/ barely talk with! ppl that i practically 'sehidup, semati' (live together, die together) with and those who I hung out with through out most of my waking hours aren't even texting or emailing/ messaging me any more. So, what the.... they can rot whr they r.

Aargh!!! I have a job interview on Thursday morning!! *starts to freak out now* This is my second time at the same place with the same people but for a different post. Still wonder if I am doing this coz I want to or coz I have to... More like I have to coz my parents push me to apply. Grrr....

If I get this job, it's gonna be a HUGE responsibility (really, really huge responsibilty. Bigger than that of Curtin's PR officer... ;/ Scary!) and yeah, I'm most definitely NOT going back to Kuching lorr... :( I miss home.

Sigh... i'm not going to Miri too tomorrow coz of the haze situation and coz my dad has an appointment later in the afternoon (think so) and then we have to attend this dinner at night... Sigh... so busy doing 'diplomatic' works with the family, huh? Oh well, can't complain since I've been doing this since I was born and besides- free food! hahahah...

Current Mood: annoyed... stoopid haze making Brunei so warm
Current Colour: red
Current Music: the sound of d computer
Current Annoyance: haze. haze. haze! I need a thunder storm!
Current Obsession: Dynomite & solitaire!

Grr... So annoyed right now. The haze is killing me. Itchy (an occassionally sore)eyes, itchy nose leading to flu, sore throat & heat! Grrr!!! plus now, I can smell my neighbour downstairs cooking roti canai. Dunno why but during non fasting month their roti canai smells so delicious that even in my sleep I can dream of it and when I wake up, I haf to raid the kitchen to make myself some! But now it seems as if the roti canai is burnt every night (well, if I'm awake during sahur time la!)

Anyway, I'm sure a couple of ppl reading this knows something abt my dad being one of those up for a 'promotion' thingy gummy. Not really a promotion la, just that my dad' 'boss' is retiring and well, the need someone to be the new 'boss'. (well, if u know abt this, u obviously what line of job my dad is in...) Dad made the annoucement this morning (Sunday) and the whole place (church) was pin drop silence. LOL... my sis & I were sniggering away. it's not that my dad got it la. We were sniggering at the whole situation thing. My sis said she could haf droped a feather and hear it touch the floor!

I guess lots of people think/ feel that we/I am disappointed. Seriously, we are more relieved than disappointed. I guess it's a huge burden off our backs now. Why? Well, for starters, we would ahve to move back to Kuching. I hate packing!! LOL. but seriously, what we were scared of was that if my dad had gotten it, the family would be uprooted AND separated (mom working here & mike completing form 5 next year) Plus, it would be an added responsibility to dad and we probably won't ever see him much. I mean, right now he's barely home sometimes coz of work, meetings, visitations etc... What more if he had gotten it?

Worse still... I probably have to continue to be a 'goody two shoes'. hahahah... well, I guess I'm pretty tame right now compared to my rebellious day. but still, those were just minuscle (spl?) things compared to what is happen round the world. I proud to say I don't do drug, drink nor smoke nor do I engage in "straineouss physical activities involving bodily fluids". If u get what I mean. In fact, i think i was pretty much a homebody/ girl next door since i moved to brunei. No sneaking out like before (i was always sneaking out to the post office to send fan mails... LOL). no playing truant or getting dimerit marks or being a pain in th ass for teachers. hahaha...

In uni I had the opportunity to do what ever I wanted, esp the last 2 years since I lived ALONE. no house mates to say anything if I did anything they disapprove. hahaha... Hey, cud haf brought a boy back/ sleep over/ whatever if I wanted but of course, the way i was brought up and by my own choice i never did that. LOL. hell, I would probably regret it til the day I die if had done so! Thank God for being so grounded. hahaha... but I guess i turn out right. mom told me before, she was worried I wont turn out right. but I know myself, my limits and what choices to make. If I had made the choice of saying yes to someone, probably I might even be married with kids today. who knows what wud happen?

It's weird, i have all sorts of friends. from the straight laced clean ones to those with a past to those who aren't so clean to suicidal ones to addicts of many sorts (sex, cigarettes, alcohol, etc) but i've pretty much remained the same. The peer pressure and temptations were always out there but yeah, never really succumb to it. Of course not only cos of my upbringing, i have really good friends who really cared and they prevented me from doing anything stupid that i might regret. Hey, I almost started smoking coz of stupid rows with a friend. not once but a couple of times but my other friends were always there to watch out for me. Thanks Guys! Esp Sameen & Shaun during the CV Environmental Rally 2003. I was really depressed. Another time I nearly jumped off my friend's 10th floor balcony coz of a row with the same person. Thank God my guardian angel was 'working' over time that night. : ( Never want to live another episode like that.

Eiy, it's almost 5am. i know I've been pouring my heart out and ranting so much. Sorry if i made life a little bothersome for a while. hehehe... But life goes on. I'm ok. Pretty happy these days. i try to. A laugh a day keeps the shrink away! hahaha...

Mood: tired
Colour: dark colurs
Music: KRU's Mania Medley
Annoyance: Insomnia... sleepy but once i lie down I wont b able to sleep
Obsession: My blog skin! need to adjust it... again!

Ai Ling this is for you...


Ingredients:

• 250g self rainsing floor
• 150g butter
• 85g sugar
• 125g chocolate rice/ coloured rice/ etc (you can add more or use less according to taste)
• 1tsp baking powder or Bicarbonate soda
• 1 egg
• 1 tsp vanilla essence
• **for decorations, you can use coloured rice, coloured starts or silver/coloured sugar balls. or cherries if u want)

Method:

1. Beat butter & sugar.
2. Add in Egg.
3. Add in BP & Flour (which have been sieved together).
4. Add in chocolate rice.
5. Make into balls.
6. Press lightly with fork. Make sure it is not too thick or the center would nor bake properly. Also, not too thin or it'll burn.
7. Put decorations on tops if desired.

You can add or lessen some ingredients such as sugar or chocolate rice. If the cookies don't turn out like mine, don't blame me worr... hehehehe... SMS me if u need any further instructions ya.

** If you r doing d chocolate rice one, it's a family recipe, just modified a bit by me. But if you use stars like the one I gave you it's "Serena's Superstar Cookies." It tastes different.

*** If anyone else wanna use this recipe, please do let me know & please credit it to me. Thanks!

Mood: mix moods
Colour: red
Music: Truly, Madly, Deeply
Annoyance: Stooopid Haze!! brunei is so hazy & my poor nose is suffering!
Obsession: Trying to upload a song that fits my blog!

Grrr... stoopid haze is killing me!! it's giving me a running nose. Not to mention that I'm so exhausted after yesterday's treasure hunt and those sleepless nights and late nights (actually early mornings coz i din sleepm til 8.30AM on Friday & 7AM on Sat) coz I was busy doing d posters for the church thingy. better b appreciated or I'll just rip them off. hahaha... If you've known me for ages... two things that pisses me off lots more than anything else (except being backstabbed la) are

1. being ignored especially if I'm there and the people act as if I'm not or stupidly ask "where is Serena" when I'm in front of them. Or just ignoring my SMS. That's plain rude!
2. Being under appreciated! I hate that!! My uni life can be sum up as "Overworked and Underappreciated"

But then again, who gives a f*** sometimes when d ppl dat unappreciate u r d ones dat u dun care to impress... I dun mean d church thingy, I mean d ones in uni. My mottos in uni in addition to "Overworked & Underappreciated" was "Sh!t Happens", "Life Without Stress is Meaningless" and "Curtin No Cute Guys!" hahahaha... the last one is more of a statement than motto la. No offense to d Curtin guys, but my 'taste' varies lots from the other girls in uni. Besides, who wanna haf a bf dat was once a friends bf who was once another friend's bf? That's d scenario in Curtin u know.

Not that no guy actually tried to get close to me. Hell, some even try to get hanky panky with me (Yeah, you. If u read this, u r lame.) I had 3 stalkers in Foundation that I had to change my phone number! They like to call between 12am - 2am! 2 of them called me a few times at night, trying to talk crap. One really stalked me coz he knows whr I live, SMS me to tell me he can see me in d comp lab, what i'm eating, what i wear, etc... FREAKY!! . In my first year & second year some guys (not fr Curtin) got my number fr friends and start call me. Annoying la esp those that wanna talk crap! My number was spread to even as far as Labuan! Crazy! Worse of all, most of these guys would say "Can you speak Chinese?" Coz they cant speak English (or well enough). Aiyoyo... that irritates me.

Cant stand ppl who cant speak English. If u cant, then speak malay to me la! I'm not like typical ppl in Brunei who cant speak proper Malay la (they speak local Malay mostly). Hell, d examiners fort my O levels Malay oral said I can speak Malay better than malay ppl! hahaha... true or not sunno la but then again, I went to private school where English is emphasized lots. No surprises here. besides, i studied in Malaysia la. We have a HUGE advantage. Eh, but my English not so bad ya. One of d top students in my class leh. :P Of course, when I blog i use lots of malay & Chinese expressiojns & words too so it sound kinda bad sometimes. hahahah...

Anyways, gtg... got a vid to add to my blog. Hopefully it works. Grr... so hard to get it done. D song cant be loaded on line coz of d stooooopid connection! Did I say i talk crap most of d time? Oh no... forgot to finish mopping d hse. half way done! hahaha...

Current Mood: frusty & tired
Current Colour: blue & green
Current Music: Crush by Mandy moore
Current Annoyance: Previous post got lost b4 i posted it! Posters still 50% done!! aargh!!!
Current Obsession: Prison Break. Arts & craft (papier mache words, words made out of toothpick, cardboard words etc... u geddit?), wentworth & shayne ward, need sleep. need sleep.

Finally I manage to get my blog skin changed. it's 7.35am & I've not slept. not coz I was surfing. dat wud b 'suicide' for me if I'm online for such a long time surfing & my dad wake up to see me online. hahaha... Actually doing some typing and posters thing the whole night. feel like dying! so tired deh! Abt 6- 7 hours these stuffs. due tmrw for some church thingy la. haf abt 2 -3 hrs to sleep b4 i haf to dash off to do some printing in town b4 lunch then after lunch meeting!!! Aaargh!!!!!!!!!!! Need sleep. haf been up til 6 d past 3-4 day deh!

Hope it is appreciated or else... plus everytime i haf to go down to d office I haf to walk 5 floors down coz our elavator is being changed!! 2 weeks of walking up & down 5 floors is taking it's toll on my knees. In case u dunno, I haf a knee problem which wud hurt like hell dat i can walk properly if i use d stairs to much. like royalty/ diva pula eh! hahaha... even if I'm barefooted it'll hurt. Thank god so far so good but my back;s aching & numb from sitting in front of d computer d whole nite. Grrr...

Actually my typing thingies r done, just need to fwd them. And waiting to load my new mp3 to my blog. hahaha... Prison Break Anthem! hahaha... fits d layout dah. Now downloading some sort of mp3 converter then can upload it. ma fan. Interesting song. not sure if it's d one they use in season 2 since we r always like 6 months - 1 year behind (now ep 6 in US). Hmm... I even requested d song to b played tinite on radio. To all Wentaholics!! hahaha...

Anyway, gotta ciao. need to sleep soon. my bro just went off for extra class!! OMG it's almost 8! haiya, wat to do. well, atleast d email I want to send has been sent. Sigh... wanna pengsan already... ZZZzzz... got abt 2-3 hrs to sleep b4 I gotta dash to d printers to print some thingies b4 lunch then after lunch meeting at church again... Aaarghh... that's life. imagine how is it gonna be like when I work... considering d latest job i applied for is gonna b so hectic, bet my CV! experience working over time wud be like peanut! hehehehe...

Oh ya, talking abt CV, happy belated B'day to Dee Dee, Fiona (Fifi my cuzzie), Debbie, Ehon, Tiang & etc.. Sorry cant recall now since I'm more thasn half asleep. Grr... downloading so slow!! Oh well, a little time is enough for sleep & my Wentasy dreams & inspirations. completed 2 heading but got 2 more to do!! need inspiration & ideas!!! k, k... ciao.

Current Mood: frustrated but yet also contented
Current Colour: purple!
Current Music: TV advert ... ooh It's Kiss Kiss by Holly Valance now (she was in PB too eh!)
Current Annoyance: my sis & mom insist on watching Siti's wedding reception on TV3 thus I miss PB on 8TV & Emmy's on NTV7... 30 seconds earlier I won haf missed wat I was waiting for!! Sh!T one
Current Obsession: Prison break la!
Current Physical Ailment: sleepy!!

Sigh... I jst found out I actually watched 4 episodes of PB dat day, not 2 as I thought. I watched another 4 just now... That makes it 8 episodes... 16 more to go!! aargh!!! can I do it tmrw?? I mean in The morning... hahaha... It's nearly 5am! wat m i doing awake so 'early'? watching PB just now & doing packing. now doing laundry la... sigh.. I wish i had more time of my own (and not doing housework...)

Goota soon. Need to hang d laundry & get my ass off to bed b4 dad wakes up! Need to b up latest by 9 or 10 coz I've got more cookies to bake!! 4 batches done... Perhaps another 4 or 5 to go... sigh... I lovew baking cookies but I wish I cud give it to someone I like/ love... Sigh...

Ciao....... I'll blog b4 I leave. No sleep 4 me tmrw... 12 hrs of car ride. sleep in d car la!

Hope that girl with Green Eyes isn't his g!! hahaha... yeah, pretty jealous tho I'm just dreaming on... hahaha.... He's too only 4 me!

Current Mood: head in the clouds
Current Colour: green... beautiful green eyes' green... hahaha
Current Music: Disney Channel... K-U-Z-C-O Kusco, Kuzco, Kuzco! hahaha... Bro watching Kim Possible now.
Current Annoyance: Have to fight for TV. I wanna watch my Prison break DVDs la! hahaha...
Current Obsession: Prison Break, http://www.vidilife.com, Happy Tree Friends. hahaha...
Loving: my beautiful green eyes... who? hahaha... Won't say.

**wrote this last night**

Finally… I could take a break & ‘goyang kaki’. Today was a busy, busy day. Started at around 5.30am when mom woke me up. Around 6am mom, dad, grandma & I went to Limbang Immigration. I had to walk across the border with my grandma to ‘cop’ aka stamp her passport (visit pass is only 14 days ma so have to stamp it before it expires). Wah lau eh. Can u imagine me half asleep walking across the border? Luckily it is not like Miri immigration which is so far. Mati pula if haf to walk across. Hahaha… It was so cold la this morning. What do you expect at 6.30am? Lots of car… about 20 -30 car nya la, not like in the end/ beginning of the month after pay day. Definitely about 40-60 cars la then.

Anyway, after stamping the passport we went back la. On the way we saw this truck towing a ‘pulley’ with a buffalo on it! Aiyoyo… so kesian la I saw it. The buffalo was on its way to the butcher! To make things worse, another buffalo’s head was placed at its feet. Ish… Mom said “why are they so cruel? I think it must be crying because it knows it is going to be slaughtered because it can see its’ friend’s head at its feet.” Aiyoyo… so kesian pun ada. Anyway, got so pictures… not so clear la coz my dad didn’t want to go so near the buffalo coz it ‘shitted’ on d pulley. Hahaha… we saw shit coming out! Eew!! So gross la. But really kesian la… I dun like to see fresh or life stock, poultry, fish, seafood or whatever before I eat it. A family friend used to give us some chickens that she slaughtered. They were fro her garden! Eeew!!! I refuse to eat it coz I’ve been to her house before and the chickens/hens were like pets! Ish! Imagine eating your pet. I also can’t stand fresh fish that have not bee ‘claeaned’ and cooked, especially in the fish market. Aargh!!! Make me wanna vomit only. I get nauseous if I go to the market and the smell of the fish is so strong and pungent! It’s minging especially the putrid smell of rotten fish and its ‘insides’. Eew!! Uwek!!!!!


So we got home around 8 something. By 8.30am I was already in bed, continuing my sleep. Sleepy la. Come on la, you guys know my bed time is like after 1am. I slept at 2am yesterday night bah. At 10.30 I got up and then we all went shopping at the mall. Bought a couple of things for some people & I got myself ‘pearl’ bracelets.

(Ooh…got to go. My dad wants to use the computer… hmm… I know. I’d just watch my new DVD box set la. My first box set. Hahaha… Prison Break. Wentworth’s such a hot jailbird! Hahaha… brb…)

Aaah… back once more. It’s 3.07am now. No. no. I didn’t watch the whole set la. I started at 10.30 plus and watched the first & second episode. The Pilot was 2 hours long bah… so finished around 1.30am. Then I kind of hung around d living room, walk up & down… disturb my sis… anyway, more about that later la.)

So anyway, as I was saying, I bought a couple of things to bring back to Kuching. Can’t wait to get back home. We’re leaving on Wednesday morning at 5.30am!! Or so I was told. Hahaha… about noon we went to pick my dad from the office then we went to Hua Ho Mall Manggis to have lunch. One of dad’s friend ‘belanja’ us lunch at the Emperor’s Court. My first time there. The Dim Sum’s not bad. Hey, Royal Brunei Catering 9RBCF) food, what do you expect? Kind of frustrating though, he said today is Friday so we won’t order meat. Haiya, my family isn’t THAT strict you know. Considering what a feast we had for dinner later on… Anyway, food not that great compared to Dim Sum. Then again, maybe because it lacked the taste/ ingredients of meat! Hahaha… I’m a ferocious meat eater! After lunch we went back and the whole household except for my dad (who went back to work because he’s got a meeting) had a nap. Fuyoo… letih gila man. I was so exhausted for I don’t know what reason and when mom woke me up at 5.30 I couldn’t get up. I was like trapped in this semi-conscious state for a while. Plus my bro was playing this instrumental soundtracks CD I bought for him. Good music plus tiredness made me fall asleep. Finally I managed to drag myself out of bed. After I went to freshen up I sat in the living room and nearly doze off again! Sigh… I miss those days in uni when I could sleep all I want when I have nothing better to do. (Clubbing isn’t an option. It’s out of the question because I can’t stand the loud- and sometimes unpleasant- music plus the smoky atmosphere. And I prefer shopping than spend my money on useless things like alcohol)

At almost 7 we went to have dinner at Excapade Sushi Japanese Restaurant. One of the owners belanja us dinner at the Gadong branch. Pretty packed when we arrived but we got a VIP room! Hahaha… one of the waitress told another to bring us to “VIP room 5” bah. Hehehe… the room was in the new extension of the restaurant. We had to take off our shoes and kind of sit on the floor. It’s different, we don’t have to sit crossed legs, there’s like a ‘hole’ ion the middle of the room for the table and our legs. Hahaha… sakai bah. Never been into the room before. My sis goes there pretty frequent over the last 2 years or so. So she was the “head order-er” (I’m the one in charge when we have meals at the Le Taj Indian restaurant because I ate lots of Indian food when I was in miri… sometimes everyday or every other day!) She got me the prawn with rice sushi thingy, crab meat thingy, fried chicken sushi (she had the seaweed) and sizzling beef steak and soup. Hahaha.. think that’s a lot, I think we at about B$60 worth of food. My bro, dad & gandma had bento, my mom had this ‘kim chi’ soup thingy, and my bro also had raw salmon (eew! Fish is bad, raw is even worse! Luckily no smell!!!). then we had some other sushi which my sister feasted on, octopus, seaweed jelly, jellyfish and some kind of Japanese fried kuih or something like that la… the pics…


After that amazing filling dinner (had been on a 1 meal a day soup diet and today I had to ditch it. Lost a few pound already though) we went to this place that sell VCDs, DVDs and CDs. We call it Communist shop or komunis tiam (in Hokkien). Don’t know why, ask my sis la. Darn cheap stuffs there. I got POTC2 DVD, Mariah Carey music video (come on… it’s not to see her but the hot guys in there. Seriously.), Christina Aguilera’s Back to Basics, my 3rd Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights CD (my first got stolen so I replaced it and it got borrowed and never returned) and my Prison Break box set. I didn’t get the original box set because I didn’t have enough money (only have 20 & it’s 30. hey, Mall got the same box set –though looks different- & it’s 28 only!) and because I want to check the price in Kuching. If cheaper I buy there la. Ooh la la… 24 hours of Wenworth… should be worth it. Hahaha… don’t mind the pun! But I’m definitely going to get the original DVD. I would also buy Just My Luck original DVD in Kuching la. Was searching for Jessica Simpson’s new CD (not sure it’s out yet, got to check), nelly Furtado, Paris Hilton (hey, just curious you know. Also to add to my ever expanding collection), McFly’s American Edition album (Just My Luck… the ‘fake’ ones here have the correct cover but the wrong songs! Weird, they have other singers on it but none of McFly’s songs. Not even the title song. Weird.), Fightstar (good for smashing things around) and Shayne Ward’s album. Shayne’s song “No Promises” is stuck in my head. Nice song and sad video… reminds me of “No Me Ames” and the movie Ghost (I saw a music video –I think karaoke- of the Righteous Brother’s Unchained Melody using clips from the movie) where the guy dies and he comes back to see the girl kinda thingy. This kind of movie/video always make me want to cry and it would bother me for days… kind of disturbs me psychologically. I don’t know why but it seems like Dé Ja Vu you know. Maybe it because I had this recurring dream that I was married in the 60s to a Man Utd (or England, can’t really recall) footballer who died or something. Weird la… but it kept on recurring when I was 16… for a few months then it went off. Weird. But I don’t believe in reincarnation so it’s just bollocks!! Hahaha…

So, back to today. As I was saying I watched the DVD. Cool series and not what you imagine. I mean for a title like “Prison Break” you would imagine a lot of fighting and all that, Not so much. Maybe in the first few episode. It’s more of a psychological thing. It’s brilliant. Some of you guys know I like to read book or watch movies that toys with your mind and make you think here and there. Lots of plot and subplot which makes it interesting and captivating (I should know. I studied this kind of thing in uni, remember? Hehehe…) Wentworth as Michael Scorfield is the Mastermind of the escape and his character is very mysterious and intriguing. I like watching characters that are more than what you see. Actually I watched it on 8TV since July but I missed the first half and there’s two more episodes left (next week and the one after) so I might as well get the DVD right. Don’t want to spoil it for anyone interested but it is interesting la. Sigh… I’m going to devote this weekend to 100% sheer Prison pleasure (definitely worth it. Hahaha...)

Oops… got to go. My sis wants to sleep already. She’s sleeping in the living room tonight. Damn, I can’t go online on nights like this. She likes extreme darkness when she sleeps where as I hate the dark. I slept with the lights on when I was in Miri!! Hahaha… especially when I lived alone for two years. Scary bah coz… I see dead people… hahahaha…. Cheers y’all.

Hmm.. whoever wanna know la.. I might not b online these few days (unless I really HAVE TO coz I'm ADDICTED) coz I will be busy this weekend.

Tmrw, I mean, today (Saturday) I'm going down to Miri wid my dad for a funeral. My dad's cou7sin who he grew up with just passed away today. he was d owner of Base Camp, d eating place next to CB & Coco's opposite Sultana. His sons run it now. Gonna miss him and his jolly personality. Though I'm not that close to him, he is kinda part of shaping me as who I am. Know why? Coz of him I never dare to go to CB & coz of dat I din end up getting addicted to clu7bbing & drink (probably would haf if I went coz I'm addicted to having addictions. Go figure. I'm complicated). Plus, I would have gone to meet 'someone' there when he SMS me to meet him. Thanks uncle, coz my heart would haf be broken by dat guy. Plus I got some cooking tips fr d shop too.. hehehe.. I make aweseome french fries now. "Secret recipe". God bless hi8s soul.

Anyway, coming back in d afternoon after d church service then going to the Tattoo thingy. not d one whr ppl draw/ink their skins. It's some kinda military exhibition/ show kinda thingy. would definitely blog abt this (eventho no one reads, at least i can inform Fifi abt it rite?).

Sunday morning abt 6am if not 5am d family wud b going to Limbang coz my dad haf to take this weddoing seminar service thingy whr couples renew their vows (if they had married in church) or have their marriage blessed in church (if they had cicil marriage in d court thingy gummy or a long hse traditional marriage). There are so many ways to get married in Sarawak u know, no need to have "love chapels' or 'Elvis chapels' to elope to! hahaha... anyway it's gonna be a day trip too coz coming ho9me at night as my siblings have school & my mom has to work (dad's day off is on Mondays coz he work on Sundays! duh!)

Anyway... gonna some sort of jet setting lifestyle, just that I'll be travelling by car! hahaha... Kesian my dad, he's been travelling since last week! last Sunday he went to HK wid mom then on Monday they went to macau. On friday they came back. On Monday this week he went to Kuching, back yesterday (Thurday) and going to Miri & limbang this wekend! Tired man! Miss my daddy... hahaha... bah, gotta ciao. need to sleep for a 6am wake up- call. grr...

P/S: Fi, Sam said hi to u. Well, to everyone la but only u read this bah.

I'm seriously thinking of closing down this blog. No one evr seems to come by anymore. Only my cousin Fiona is a 'pengunjung setia'. hehehe... Anyway, probably would blog on friendster sajer la. Though this blog can do more than d friendster blog... but at least more ppl drop by. :(

I had a nervous breakdown. I'm never the one to bare my soul to anyone, especially not to my mom. Since I was a kid, I could never express my feelings or emotions out loud. Mom got freaked out I guess when I started to cry when I talked to her last night. You see, in my family, if I do cry it must be something really bad coz I am not the type than cry. I can get through 2 - 3 years without crying. no problem. So if I do cry, everyone would freak out. I guess it's been building up since my health is really screwed up, getting periods 2 a month, my skin all dried up & peeling, hair falling, feeling lethargic all the time & getting insomnia... It's just so bad & last night was the breaking point.

** Lots of heart baring, rants & complains from here on... If u get hurt from reading, terasa ke, ape ke, sorry la... not my problem. Siapa makan Cili terasa pedasnya lah!(Whoever ate the chilli tastes it's spiciness or hotness. -> direct translation

It was bad. Cried for nearly an hour! Was so bad, i finished a packet of tissues & probably half a box of tissues too. Mom had to sit with me & talked it out. Not really gonna say what it's all about. Let's just say all those months of keeping my emotions inside come out... kinda blew up like a volcano. Most about feeling betrayed by those I called 'friends' & 'family away from home'. Who am I kidding. They needed me more just to do stuffs for them, not to hang out with. I mean, it was apparent that they'll only call me up to say "Serena, I need you help.", "serena, can you help us to do this?", Serena this, Serena that. Don't mean to complain but how much of that could a person handle?

I know I would help them wilingly because I want to. I mean as friends we'd help each other & be there for each other right? Like I told my mom, the people I care for the most and did a lot for are the ones that hurt me the most. Who didn't know of the fall out with one of my closes friend in uni? When the person was sick, I cared for him/her (dun wanna say). No money, I lend. Homework not completed I helped. Helped to cover up hi/ her ass so many times. I bet the lecturer knew too. I know the fault isn['t mine. Coz I'm not the only one who isn't talking & keeping in touch with him/her.

Who are my REAL friends? I also don't know. The one people I REALLY REALLY know that are my friends are Jaja & Ai Ling my two best friends & Violet my childhood friend til now. Look at my 2 best friends, distance never really changed our friendship. Over the years they probably also have new best friends for all I know... Well, Jaja & I are close to Aishah, whi8ch is her other best friend but that's different. Ai Ling was once 'fought' over by me & another friend (well, everyone thought so too then) but se still remained friends. Violet & I haf been friends since we were 4, went to the same schools & chuch & then d same uni. There was once when there were some people who didn;t like me & kinda backstab me... she wa their friend too but it seems she is still my friend til now... I guess that's what i call a strong friendhip... and not letting out side ppl mess it up...

These few months the only few people from uni that had been in touch with me aren't those who I'm always seen with. No, they are friends who even though I never really hung out with still remember. SOme of them, I never really talk to much, just maybe a hi & bye or maybe some short conversation. that's all. When I go on MSN, 99.999999% of the time no one chats with me. Some really close friends, When I saw hi just ignore me... not once or twice but a few times. I get it. U just mean get lost la? No use to SMS people... no one would rep[ly anyway. Like I said before... waste of money only. I tried when I went down to Miri for my cousin's wedding, granduation & also church camp. 3 times. most of d people don't even reply!!

I know some one who I was close to asked me for help for something that day. I sill haf the SMS. Debating with myself if I shud do it. I mean, this person hurt me too... Maybe he didnt realise it or what but he did. Lots of time. I stuck up for him, I always defend him but as years gone by... everyone says he's using me to get things done. i dunno la. But if making decisions that includes me without consulting me isn't hurting me... I dunno la.

Like I told my mom, I guess the most hurt I get if from CV. is CV a volunteer group or a social club now? Don't get me wrong. I still love CV, it's like my baby. But as the baby grows up, he has no use of his mother already right? I'm sorry if anyone feels hurt by this but you guys must remember what is CV all about & what is that we are established to do. I know they are looking for a new Advisor now... Hope you get a good one. Just don't make decisions with out telling others... like electing a new president without telling the current one. I hope Debbie would be Advisor. If Debbie is the Advisor, i'm sure she knows how to handle things. I guess since Debbie left this started to get screwed up. Suddenly all the responsibilities fall on me & jae yet I tend to feel it's more on me. i dunno la. mayb coz I had to manage all the internal stuff... Seriously, Last year I had a breakdown too... They who saw it should remember la. but no one knew I had a slight mental breakdown too... I spent nearly a week at home, not talking to anyone, not meeting anyone. nearly drove me crazy. well kinda did since i started laughing alone when watching tv, talk to me teddies abt my problems... hahaha... Maybe Curtin DID make me go crazy! hahaha... I don't ever wanna count t-shirts again esp if it is in the hundreds... drive me crazy only! hahaha...

But i guess I feel better now... it's time to let go & look fowrd to the future. I told my mom, i'm reluctant to make new friends now coz i'm scared of being betrayed and hurt again. I mean all this while since I was in primary school, people always take advantage of me, step on my head, stb me in d back... really hurtful u know. Like Izzah said.. I'm too nice to people. maybe la, I dunno. I'm no saint. Of course I wanna hurt people. I mean, how many hours did I spend contemplating revenge? I dunno but I can bring myself to do it. I hurts me more just to think of it. I feel so guilty & bad if i did something wrong. I know I tend to speak before I think... but nit's just me. sometimes I feel so guilty just because i said sth & people get it the wrong way... But how can I protect everyone's feelings if i get hurt in d process?

I guess, I'm not cut out to b this out going social kinda person. I think I'm mde to be a loner. Like now. I mean, how many of my friends have I met these past 2 months ince graduation? I think only 1- Oja in church. Who else is there to meet? p[eople can forget so fast. they have their own lives to lead, new friends to hang out. yeah, i'm talking abt those people who lives in Brunei & promised to gimme a call & go out... I know I told Lina I wanna go out with her but I have no transport coz my parents have been travelling la... but others... I dunno & dun care. mom said let go & forget.

People said friends u make in uni r for life... i'll say friends u make in kindie & primary sch r d ones for life. Life in uni is superficial. u can be a different person altogether for God knows. Probably back home u r a nerd, in uni u r one cool dude... I dunno who to trust anymore. I never trust people but sometimes when u hang out a lot with certain people, u'll grow to trust them. People I trust, care for, look up to & think very high of are the ones that hurt me the more. When they stop calling, stop coming by & u don't c them around anymore... well it's time to let go & forget abt them. I dun wanna think abt them anymore... I feel like i wanna delete all their pics but it's memories.. Just cherish the memories & forget the hurt... time 2 move on...

Anyway, I don't know is this coincidence or fate or what ever... As I opened friendster I saw this Bulletin by Izzah... which truly refklects what I feel & have been going through...

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you
stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are many things about yourself that you
didn't know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where you
will be in a year or two, but then get scared
because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were so
close to aren't exactly the greatest people you
have ever met, and the people you have lost touch
with are some of the most important ones. What
you don't recognize is that they are realizing that
too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere
but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close to
what you thought you would be doing, or maybe
you are looking for a job and realizing that you are
going to have to start at the bottom and that scares
you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what
others are doing and find yourself judging more
than usual because suddenly you realize that you
have certain boundaries in your life and are
constantly adding things to your list of what is
acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are
insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your
life. You feel alone and scared and confused.
Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and
cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize
that the past is drifting further and further away,
and there is nothing to do but stay where you are
or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how
someone you loved could do such damage to you.
Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet
anyone decent enough that you want to get to
know better. Or maybe you love someone but love
someone else too and cannot figure out why you
are doing this because you know that you aren't a
bad person.

You go through the same
emotions and questions over and over, and talk
with your friends about the same topics because
you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and
making a life for yourself...and while winning the
race would be great, right now you'd just like to be
a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading
this relates to it. We are in our best of times and
our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to
figure this whole thing out.


-Adapted-

*P/S: I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feeling but I just had to let it out....Why am I saying sorry?? see, I am the one always to apologise but I never hear ppl say sorry to me!! Sheesh!

Current Mood: amused
Current Colour: light blue
Current Music: Siti Nurhaliza's press conference on TV
Current Obsession: Insaniquarium
Current Physical Ailment: sth wrong wid my skin. extremely dry & painful. using some kinda medication for it. Mom!! painful!

Wah lau eh, Siti announce dat she IS wid Datuk K, the guy she has been gossiped with this passed year eh. On TV lagi tu!! All to best to her. He's kinda old leh! hehehe... At last she's settling down la. People have been waiting for years to know when she is getting married. Wah, at last la. This is gonna b wedding of the year!! Wedding at KLCC worr!! (hehehe... kenapa tak kat PWTC? takut ade "orang" makan hati ke?? ;p heheh... Jangan mare...)

Siti said she'll announce when she is gonna haf a meet the fans wedding thing. kinda like d one Yusry & Erra had in d park la. Wah syok man. are her fans gonna exceed d 10, 000 or so ppl dat attended Yusry's? We'll wait & see... Although I'm not a fan of Siti's, I'm kinda curious how it's gonna be like. It's gonna be Grand!! Can't wait 2 see eh! hahaha... I LOVE weddings!! Anyway, jez have wait til 21st August for that! Eh, it's my dad's birthday then la! ahhaha...

Talking abt y dad, my parents are in Macau now! they left for Hong Kong yesterday. wah syok la. Din bring me one... Not honeymoon la. Got this Chinese church conference thingy la. But we kacau them it's honeymoon la! 5 days worr... Last year they went to Johor for a few days nya... I think over the weekend la. Wah... syok la. I wanna go la. Shopping!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha.... I asked my mom for handphone leh. heheh... see la if I can get one! hehehe...

Anyway... gtg first. need to get my lunch la. Haven't cook. eh, better shower first la. Brunei so d@mn F*cking hot!! Melting like ice except dat I'm not sweating! Dunno why these days my sweat not coming out! maybe that's why my skin's so dry! Yet I still drink too much water these days! Blehz