Goodbye Sunshine

Current Mood: melancholic
Current Colour: red
Current Music: Heaven by Nu Flavour, Close To Heaven by Color Me Badd
Current Annoyance: Why do I miss you?
Current Physical Ailment: Insomnia

 Funny how I haven't written in this blog for years and suddenly I decide to write in here about an old flame... *sigh* Just like the old times...

I supposed I might as well dedicate this whole blog to 'him', eh? LOL.

 Hmmm.. Close To Heaven just came on iTunes. Thing song will always remind me of 'him'. How long has it been? 7 years?

 Crushes come and go. Time to move on. Well I did, and ended up with a rebound. Pathetic of me. hahaha... This I supposed, will be the last blog about 'him' in here.

 So, Mr Sunshine. For the last time... Thanks for the memories.

 xoxo
S. (I wonder if you remember what you used to call me...)

Oh Crap..

Current Mood: OMG
Current Colour: RED
Current Music: This One's For The Children (NKOTB)
Current Annoyance: Oh crap... I can't concentrate on my workCurrent Obsession: NKOTB
Current Physical Ailment: absentmindedness, breathlessness and loss of appetite (I swear I've lost a few pounds in 1 week)

Oh Crap! I just put a link to THIS blog in my comment to Jonathan's blog. Crap. Dieee... Wonder if there are any embarrassing stuffs in HERE. lol... Anyway, been feeling like crap the whole day at work. Depression soon sunk in (can't be PMS, that's over 2 weeks ago) but at lunch I logged on to nkotb.com and I saw sth that almost made me cry the tear I've been trying not to shed the whole morning. Kinda cheered me up. And I'm thankful for that. Could concentrate a little better after that and I had a silly grin on my face. But thank God me n Jul were not in the mood for double entre talk online today... lol...

Anyway, Jonathan's Blog (I really need to figure out how to do all this RSS stuff... LoL)



xoxox

What the...??

Lol... my sis just told me the weirdest/funniest comment/insult/compliment...

Apparently, last year when she went back to Kuching she met my supestar fren Stanley outside the church and he asked her the weirdest thing:

He asked me if I was a model in Brunei!

hahaahahah... WTF??

Then he started laughing coz he could not believe it. LoL. and ran to church coz he was late.

Weird. Me a model? LoL... I'm too short la. But if HE who is shorter (and fatter) than me can be a superstar, then maybe I have hope... and the rest of humanity!! LoL...

I dunno if i should be offended or amused... as of now I feel weird and confused at what made him said that. LoL. Oh no... don't tell me he saw my Bodyshop session photos.... die... lol...

P/S: still cant believe my mum is so addicted to watching him on TV everyday. LoL... hahahah... he's still d guy who liked to bully my sis (like hitting her with the hanger and scaring her with a live but dazed bat!), who liked a couple of my frens (and I tried to matchmake them...lol) and is always shorter than me. lol...

Wrote this from 12am-2am, Friday morning.

Current Mood: "overstimulated" lol. hahaha...
Current Colour: Orange...damn, I watched that vid of a live show whr someone wore an orane shirt n it's stuck in my head! lol...
Current Music: I'll be Missing You Come Christmas by NKOTB- I dunno who though. But i feel so lonely now… :'( and other NKOTB songs... on repeat mode for 2 week & counting!
Current Annoyance: Not inspired
Current Obsession: NKOTB and Jonathan...woooo
Current Physical Ailment: sleepy n tired n... only Jul knows. lol


Aaargh!!!!!!!! I'm like supposed re-design the flyers for the church camp for KOOL & YDM and I'm seriously out of ideas!! If I can put NKOTB photos and write about my beloved JJJDD (as Jul & I call them)- Jon, Joey, Jordan, Donnie & Danny (yeah in that order!) or Double D Tripple J or Triple J DD or... nevermind! I can do that with flying colours. But sadly I'm so uninspired… Damn, even my spelling, grammar and punctuation suck but coz I'm typing this in Word, spell check can check me. Lol

Realistically, I'm been a 'mess' these 13 days since the announcement. Oh wait, since I got the email from nkotb.com on 1 April (it's 31 March in US then) I've been like a kid! I didn't stop squealing for a week like a 5 yr old (think I became a fan at 4 or 5 when I moved back to Kuching)! And don't mention work, I'm pretty zonked out (P.A.s should never, never do that!) and a couple of people have caught me smilling or grinning to myself (Jul knows that without seeing me coz I tell her what I read… lol) and someone said I'm in love. Lol. Yeah, with NKOTB! Lol… Not to mention that I finally lost my appetite to eat (my 'dinner/super' a can of tuna is on the table now and it's half eaten only) so I've been having these weird diet.

• Monday- only dinner.
• Tuesday- lunch and dinner.
• Wednesday- only dinner.
• Thursday- lunch & supper.

Lol… Tomorrow, eh later, I'll be going for lunch with Lina and I reminded her I'm 'semi-vegetarian' at the moment- I only eat vegetables and seafood- and am on a diet so no pigging out for me. Lol. I've been eating so much over the last few years. Depression and boredom was the main cause la. Depression caused mostly by two people who I used to be damn close to (no, my then crush did not contribute to this depression) and seriously I got so inferior complex-ed and probably went cuckoo. Hahaha… just kidding! Lol.

But all is fine now. A little inferior complex still lurking around but I'm coping. I have to, in my line of job. With people I know and am comfortable with I can be loud and chatty but with strangers I can be pretty shy, which is weird since in uni I was so in-your-face! Lol… hahaha…
Oooh… I forgot to continue for ½ hr. chatting with Jul lah! Lol… Ooh… Joe looks so young in d Please Don't Go Girl video. The original coloured one (need to llok 4 the link one day). He looks 10!! Hahaha…. Hide it (the video) Joe! LoL… Jonathan looks so thin there. He needs a woman to feed him! (I'm single, what's your number? Lol)

Damn… another ½ hr gone. Lol.. Busy chatting with Jul again. Lol.. (and d/l Jonathan's pics. Yum! Sorry Joe, you are my 2 now… lol) hmm… my mind is so easily distracted lately. Lol… Now feeling sleepy. Think I'd sleep for a while then wake up to continue the flyers. So no mood la. I need a massge. Hmmm… wonder who I have in (my filthy) mind… lol….

Gtg & zzz before i wake up to finish my 'task!

What would the weirdest...

Current Mood: sleepy (n freaking out, my boss is back tmrw)
Current Colour: pink
Current Music: You Got It (Right Stuff) by who else? NKOTB
Current Annoyance: Y cant I find d pics that Papa need??
Current Obsession: Duh. As if u need to ask ... NKOTB
Current Physical Ailment: sleepy, squinting now. lol

What would be the weirdest song for NKOTB to sing after 22 years? I thought of it either when i was half asleep in bed or in the shower, can't recall.

My picks are those from the first album:

3. Angel

2. Popsicle

1. I Want to be Love By You ( hahahaha...)


Why I wanna be loved by you? Read this and tell me that u did not try notL laugh imagining mid 35-39 yr old men sing this:


I wanna be loved by you
I wanna be loved by you

Hi, I’m danny, and I’m a taurus,
And I wanna be loved by you.
Do you wanna be loved by me?
If you do, check this out.
Aaaaah....
Sounds good to you, don’t it?

Oh baby, I just got to let you know
I wanna be loved by you
I wanna be loved by you

I’m jon, and I’m a sagittarius
And I really, really wanna be loved by only you
And I want you to only love me too.
And if this is the way it’s gonna be, girl, then check me out

I wanna be loved by you, baby
I wanna be loved by you
I wanna be loved by you

Yeah, I know, I know, I’m young....
I might be young, but I’m not too young to let you know how I feel.
I’m Joe, and I’m a capricorn.
And if you can relate to that, then check this out.

Oh, girl, I wanna be loved, loved by you baby
I wanna be loved by you
I wanna be loved by you

I’m donnie, a loveable leo
And rather than tell you how I feel,
I’m gonna sing it for you,
babyI wanna be loved by you girl
I wanna take you by the hand and make you understand

I wanna be loved by you
I wanna be loved by you

Well, I guess they saved the best for last
I’m jordan, and I’m a taurus
And if you think you know everything about me,
then check this out

I wanna be loved by you baby, by you baby
I wanna be loved by you
I wanna be loved by you

LoL. Cheesy. It'll be so weird to hear them sing, esp Joey (then Joe) sing Yeah I'm young... hahahah....

Ok. Off to bed now... & dream of going to NJ on my birthday. Darn it, I live so far away! (Jon is hot too)

NKOTB! NKOTB! NKOTB!

Current Mood: estatic & squealing like a 5 year old!!
Current Music: Baby I Believe in You (NKOTB!!)
Current Annoyance: NKOTB not stopping by Brunei!!! :'(
Current Obsession: NKOTB NKOTB NKOTB
Current Physical Ailment: losing my voice coz squealing too much!


OMG!! Think blog is so 4 days late! hahahah... On Tuesday morning d first thing I saw in my inbox was an email from nkotb.com... Eeeek!!! Opened it and... NKOTB was gonna do a show + annoucement on Friday... Eeek!! NKOTB's finally coming back???

And yes!! They are!! eeek! so many many news n blogs abt them today. I'm still squealing coz I cant get over it! heheheh... Weeeeeee.... lol... OMG OMG OMG I adore NKOTB!! lol... was so addicted to their cartoons...lol.. and who can forget "Step by Step, oooh baby" and "I'll be loving you forever" hahahhaha... OMG I LOOOOVE NKOTB.

Cant wait for their new album! Btw, anybody wanna offer to get me NKOTB merchandise (not opened yet at time of blogging) ??? heheheh... My birthday is just next month! Never thought I'd say this to anyone, but yeah, NKOTB was my first favourite even before KRU. LoL.. Btw, who can get me ALL the NKOTB albums??? I WANT!!! lol....

P/S: Eeek! Joey is still hot! lol... hahahaha... Sorry Yusry, Milo, Wentworth, Shayne, Gareth etc etc...

My Cutie's Going To Singapore!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: Love sick & ecstatic
Current Colour: Black
Current Music: Way Back Into Love from the Music & Lyrics OST (on repeat & singing it too)
Current Annoyance: being so far away from.... ;p
Current Obsession: Heroes and milo peng addiction
Current Physical Ailment: Love sick


OH my God, Oh my God!! My dream guy is coming to Singapore in like 3 months!!!! Aiiiii!!!! (Scream!!) Just found out the news about 20 Minutes ago! OMG OMG OMG!!! Gonna die from excitement!!! LOL. See, I have not blogged for ages and now m blogging abt him! AAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh man!! I need to find a way to Singapore then! Planning ahead. Ok, ok…. If he is confirm going I’m gonna book tickets. Hopefully I can go. Please please let it be a Saturday so I can fly on Friday and come back on Sunday. OMG…. Like planning a rendevous!! Hahahaha… IZZAH DO NOT MENTION HIS NAME HERE!!!! OMG…. Now I feel like drinking a glass of cold milo peng… aiyo… had one already today!! Hahahah….

Calm down, calm down… Ok who is he? Hahahaha… not gonna say… *Sing* “all I wanna do is find my way back into love” Oh Gosh he’s so freaking hot. Damn, I was so engrossed with “Sunshine” back then I never saw how hot he is…. LoL… And I thought “Sunshine” was all that… damn. This guy makes “Sunshine” pale in comparison!! His brown eyes, cute smile and tousled hair…. Aiyo, makes Sunshine look blah. Seriously, how does Sunshine look like again??? Hahahahaha… M serious!!! LOL.

Oh man, m so in love with the song. Who cares if it’s Hugh Grant singing… I love the lyrics and the melody!! Hehehehe… It kinda makes makes me nice, worm and fuzzy inside like thinking of my cutie does… LoL… hahahaha… makes me imaginew me & cutie dancing together… lol lol lol… The lyrics kinda speak of what I'm feeling right now...

Was under some sort of hypnosis thingy the other day... The psychologist said thing of a happy memory and in my mind i suddenly remember how save and secured I felt in Sunshine's car that one rainy day... how the air smelled, the feling of his car seat, my wet clothes, the smell inside the car, his perfume, how his smie looked like and his voice etc... then the psychologist said "now it is time o let go and forget of the past. move on. forgive and forget..." and then he counted backwards and I woke up... freaky but i kinda find it easier to forget sunshine... sigh... and that was at a talk by a psychologist i went with my family & some church ppl...

Now I'm ready to move on and think abt my cutie!! Damn, why cant he come to Brunei eh? And Lina, stop SMSing me all that stuff just now... not too X Rated at church k... LoL... I know u dont mean it to sound x rated but u know d state of my hormone right now!! LoL.... ROTFLMAO!!! Oh man.... I dunno wat to do now.... Shit better not effect my work la. Hope my boss dont find me drooling abt him or me sending him Myspace messages... LoL... Which reminds me... I supposed to ask Lina what to ask him. Damn. lol... oh man, I swear a lot today, huh? and to think that all it takes to get me all swear-y wa the thought of a rendezvous with him!! Hmmm.. i should realy get him a nick name.... will think of it tonight. The one Lina & I use is too conspicuous !! Man, my feet r tingling! LoL... hahaha... M I in love??? nah, until d day of the skin on skin contact (ew... sound so x rated... til we r physically near each other?) probably?? LoL...

Hmmm... gotta go off now... Need to shower and start the beautification regime... LoL. I love it when I'm crushing... My face's skin becomes all soft and smooth with out much work. Don't even need to worry to exfoliate or do facial... and my face glow from inside. must be too happy... LoL...

Oh man.. update!! he's gonna be inSingapore on Aust 31 & Sept 1st!!!! OMG!!! Tickets!!


Hugh Grant & Haley Bennet- Way Back Into Love (Music & Lyrics OST)

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

Oh oh oh