Current Mood: sleepy n tired n hungry
Current Colour: red
Current Music: love you no more (i'm sorry) on repeat
Current Annoyance: stupid diet make me hungry
Current Obsession: need to lose weight. HTML (updating my blog & myspace) and adding celebrity mysopace to my friendster and myspace friend lists... LOL
Current Physical Ailment: hungry n sleepy n cranky... lol
Anyway, just dropping by. My blog is running again, i guess... damn. it's so boring to be out of uni... LOL nothing to look forward for ...yet. anyways... i'll update again. perhap these few days...
ciao baby
P/S: Charles Simpson is still hot! ;p
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Hey guys... sorry din update for soooo long. So busy. Anyway, u guys can read my other blog on Friendster ( http://seryna.blogs.friendster.com/serynas_crazy_life/). oh yeah, I can't update from campus too coz as usual, DANS GUARDIAN is thr to ban stuffs... Blogger is banned on campus. So I'll update once I get out of there ya! ;p Rite now in Brunei n going back to Miri in a few hours... Take care...
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Current Mood: melancholic
Current Music: Slow love songs with some memories
Current Physical State: sleepy
Current Obsession: Peanut butter & rain (not necessarily together)
Something some friends had mention got me thinking. A few times, friends had made passing comments about my single status. Then just a few hours ago my dad also asked me if i had found a boy friend.
Everyone that knows me know that I hang out with guy friends a lot and have a sizable number of guy friends. What confuse them is that my ability to actually have platonic relationships with these guys. I mean, so of these guys are really close friends and people have mistaken some of them as my boyfriend or boyfriends (yup, at the same time). Which is pretty weird since I once had a guy friend whom no one actually thought is a friend of mine and worse, I had a crush on him! hahaha...
What do I look for in a man that I have not found? The guys I know, they are not bad- any girl that get them would be lucky girls. Those who I am really, really close to are really caring guys and they do take care of me as a sister or as they care for any of their chums (yeah, some times I get 'mistaken' for a guy too- blame it on my potty mouth n filthy mind. LOL). Seriously, my guy freinds are all the 'alright' bunch. No worries of them actually harming or hurting any girls.Nice guys... But... as I said, it's all platonic for me. No feelings.
Other girls might find it hard to maintain platonic relationships with guy but for me it's like a second nature. I grew up with boy cousins. at a very young age I had already experienced hanging out with the older guys (yeah, some of them were then TWICE my age or more!! i was a child, they were my 'koko' in their teens) and since then the guys I hang out with have been taking care of me. seriously, if any girls want me to be the 'middlewoman',I have no problem. Been there, done that anyway.
But back to what I want.
It's nothing like liking a guy or just wanting aguy to be a boyfriend. Hell, I'm 21! Time fly by really fast. No more time for 'fun fun' or just for the hell of it. Yeah, pretty much want something stable. Even had a conversation about this.
What do I want?
Comfort, security and contentment. I know some are saying that I sound so old. But that's the truth. I grew up really early and fast. No normal childhood. Therefore my mind is pretty much more mature (tho I cant say the same about my emotions... they get me into trouble very often).
Comfort, security and contentment... Everyone would say "Haven't your parents given you that?" Yes, but it is on a different level. No it's not so much on physical objects, but more on emotions. The kind that makes you feel that there nothing more that you want because these 3 (Comfort, Security & Contentment- CSC) are all met.
Have I felt that before. Seriously, I can say I have. Yes, once in my life. For a short while, about 10-15 minutes. the longest but yet also the shortest 15 minutes of my life. With whom? Aahh... There has always been only one man in my life. :| *bittersweet smile*
It felt so perfect. Us, alone (really ALONE for once) and no one around for miles(?) or something like that. He was like a knight in shinning amour. Has always been anyway. Never was this close to him (though, I really wish I was in HIS ARMS... hahaha). There and then, I felt the CSC. There's nothing more that I want. I was contented. If i were to die there and then, I'd die a happy and contented woman. hahaha... Sigh... Like I said, there was like nothing more I wanted in life. not even fame or money... I think, if I could (and if he had asked),I'd marry him right away... sigh...
(Geez... Unchained Melody is setting the mood here for me)
There... I think I sound like a fool. Does he know? I mean, DID he know? (should use past tense, he's a distant memory now) 99% no. There is a small possibility he knew how I felt but i think it's pretty slim.
THAT I cant possibly say is LOVE. A crush yes. if a crush can make me feel like that, how much more can being in love be like! I guess, I'm not in a relationship now because no one can make me feel like that yet (again). I'm pretty much of an emotional person, but privately. I like to be in control of my emotions and I like them to be CSC. I don't really care if he isn't rich,as long he can support me financially. I need a man to support me emotionally and i guess also to support me in my undertakings, as I would to him too.
Bet you'll Question why I never told Sunshine... I guess it's mostly is due to the different worlds we are in. We are worlds apart. Our interest are waaaaay different, the only common thing is Man Utd, I guess (but all my celeb crushes like Man Utd too anyway). He's like so hot and cute, so yummy. me so short and although I was not as pudgy as I am now, i'm still no supermodel. (oh yeah, the girls I see him with are those type). Plus, I don't think he likes loud (both in audible volumes and in (vulgar) language wise), domineering and independent girls. oh well, I also prefered looking but not owning. Once the chase was over, the fun was over...
One of the few things that was said about me that scare guys that people have told me. izzah said I look (and am) too independent, no guys dare to approach me or think that I don't need a guy. My mom said that I shouldn't show guys that I CAN be more Intelligent than them (meaning, guys' ego like them to think that they are smarter la). someone else (not sure who) said that my ability to actually know what guys are talking about scares them (like if they had their 'guy talk' like sex, I kinda know what they are talking thanks to my 'bros' or if they talk about Formula One... u get what I mean). JAJA told me I'm tough inside though I don't look it. Another close friend (cant recall who) said I'm mean to guys. I can get rude or don't give them a chance to get close. I'm not sure la.The weirdest & most contradictory thing I was told before was told by Lotezcia years ago- "you're a natural flirt. You flirt with all the guys here (choir guys)" eheheh... did I coz I never knew... It's like so weird. Mabel did say I flirt a lot la... But I think I'm just being friendly, not meant to flirt.. Sigh...
Just wanna say, people can say what they wanna say. They can think what they want, do what they want to. Afterall, it's nothing wrong being young, single, free and loving it. Who have time for a boyfriend if they are busy as me anyway?? (I have a feeling in the future, I might get involved in politics... maybe a politician's aide? don't know. But I'm forever busy anyway...)
Amen to singledom!
Current Music: Slow love songs with some memories
Current Physical State: sleepy
Current Obsession: Peanut butter & rain (not necessarily together)
Something some friends had mention got me thinking. A few times, friends had made passing comments about my single status. Then just a few hours ago my dad also asked me if i had found a boy friend.
Everyone that knows me know that I hang out with guy friends a lot and have a sizable number of guy friends. What confuse them is that my ability to actually have platonic relationships with these guys. I mean, so of these guys are really close friends and people have mistaken some of them as my boyfriend or boyfriends (yup, at the same time). Which is pretty weird since I once had a guy friend whom no one actually thought is a friend of mine and worse, I had a crush on him! hahaha...
What do I look for in a man that I have not found? The guys I know, they are not bad- any girl that get them would be lucky girls. Those who I am really, really close to are really caring guys and they do take care of me as a sister or as they care for any of their chums (yeah, some times I get 'mistaken' for a guy too- blame it on my potty mouth n filthy mind. LOL). Seriously, my guy freinds are all the 'alright' bunch. No worries of them actually harming or hurting any girls.Nice guys... But... as I said, it's all platonic for me. No feelings.
Other girls might find it hard to maintain platonic relationships with guy but for me it's like a second nature. I grew up with boy cousins. at a very young age I had already experienced hanging out with the older guys (yeah, some of them were then TWICE my age or more!! i was a child, they were my 'koko' in their teens) and since then the guys I hang out with have been taking care of me. seriously, if any girls want me to be the 'middlewoman',I have no problem. Been there, done that anyway.
But back to what I want.
It's nothing like liking a guy or just wanting aguy to be a boyfriend. Hell, I'm 21! Time fly by really fast. No more time for 'fun fun' or just for the hell of it. Yeah, pretty much want something stable. Even had a conversation about this.
What do I want?
Comfort, security and contentment. I know some are saying that I sound so old. But that's the truth. I grew up really early and fast. No normal childhood. Therefore my mind is pretty much more mature (tho I cant say the same about my emotions... they get me into trouble very often).
Comfort, security and contentment... Everyone would say "Haven't your parents given you that?" Yes, but it is on a different level. No it's not so much on physical objects, but more on emotions. The kind that makes you feel that there nothing more that you want because these 3 (Comfort, Security & Contentment- CSC) are all met.
Have I felt that before. Seriously, I can say I have. Yes, once in my life. For a short while, about 10-15 minutes. the longest but yet also the shortest 15 minutes of my life. With whom? Aahh... There has always been only one man in my life. :| *bittersweet smile*
It felt so perfect. Us, alone (really ALONE for once) and no one around for miles(?) or something like that. He was like a knight in shinning amour. Has always been anyway. Never was this close to him (though, I really wish I was in HIS ARMS... hahaha). There and then, I felt the CSC. There's nothing more that I want. I was contented. If i were to die there and then, I'd die a happy and contented woman. hahaha... Sigh... Like I said, there was like nothing more I wanted in life. not even fame or money... I think, if I could (and if he had asked),I'd marry him right away... sigh...
(Geez... Unchained Melody is setting the mood here for me)
There... I think I sound like a fool. Does he know? I mean, DID he know? (should use past tense, he's a distant memory now) 99% no. There is a small possibility he knew how I felt but i think it's pretty slim.
THAT I cant possibly say is LOVE. A crush yes. if a crush can make me feel like that, how much more can being in love be like! I guess, I'm not in a relationship now because no one can make me feel like that yet (again). I'm pretty much of an emotional person, but privately. I like to be in control of my emotions and I like them to be CSC. I don't really care if he isn't rich,as long he can support me financially. I need a man to support me emotionally and i guess also to support me in my undertakings, as I would to him too.
Bet you'll Question why I never told Sunshine... I guess it's mostly is due to the different worlds we are in. We are worlds apart. Our interest are waaaaay different, the only common thing is Man Utd, I guess (but all my celeb crushes like Man Utd too anyway). He's like so hot and cute, so yummy. me so short and although I was not as pudgy as I am now, i'm still no supermodel. (oh yeah, the girls I see him with are those type). Plus, I don't think he likes loud (both in audible volumes and in (vulgar) language wise), domineering and independent girls. oh well, I also prefered looking but not owning. Once the chase was over, the fun was over...
One of the few things that was said about me that scare guys that people have told me. izzah said I look (and am) too independent, no guys dare to approach me or think that I don't need a guy. My mom said that I shouldn't show guys that I CAN be more Intelligent than them (meaning, guys' ego like them to think that they are smarter la). someone else (not sure who) said that my ability to actually know what guys are talking about scares them (like if they had their 'guy talk' like sex, I kinda know what they are talking thanks to my 'bros' or if they talk about Formula One... u get what I mean). JAJA told me I'm tough inside though I don't look it. Another close friend (cant recall who) said I'm mean to guys. I can get rude or don't give them a chance to get close. I'm not sure la.The weirdest & most contradictory thing I was told before was told by Lotezcia years ago- "you're a natural flirt. You flirt with all the guys here (choir guys)" eheheh... did I coz I never knew... It's like so weird. Mabel did say I flirt a lot la... But I think I'm just being friendly, not meant to flirt.. Sigh...
Just wanna say, people can say what they wanna say. They can think what they want, do what they want to. Afterall, it's nothing wrong being young, single, free and loving it. Who have time for a boyfriend if they are busy as me anyway?? (I have a feeling in the future, I might get involved in politics... maybe a politician's aide? don't know. But I'm forever busy anyway...)
Amen to singledom!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Current Mood: undecidabley annoyed and tired
Current Colour: black
Current Music: how can i not love u (joy enriquez)
Current Annoyance: unknown status
Current Obsession: to hurt as i was hurt
Current Physical Ailment: tired (physical, mentally, emotionally & spiritually.)
Nyeh. life sucks.... rumors r circulating. i lost my job. nyeh. no two weeks notice for me eh! how leh? no1 inside is telling me anything... hell, now i know how those KFC Holding directors feel now!
on the bright side, i had really, really nice dream abt my long lost crush. hahahha.. i dreamt he can back to curtin to do some stuffs. i think he can to do some training ka, apa ka... he join military or sth & he was doing search & rescue training. i avoided him like hell but he notice my reaction towards him. one day i ran away somewhere & end up in a river or tunnel or sth. got running water la & got lost. and who should save me but him... hahahaha... then the story goes on but it's for me to enjoy n not for u to know... Don't think dirty! i'm a good girl... ahaks! (Ja, I'll story u soon!)
sigh... which crush?? the one i vowed never to remember again. Sunshine. Sigh... He's so cute. hahaha... i forgot how cute he could be, u know. Aaargh!! cutie addiction. hehehe... make me so happy in a time when i am so down. hahahaha...it help more to think dat the ppl dat hurt me din like him. hahahaha... so i'm on the same side of the line now. nyeh! ;p hehehehe....
sigh... y life is so damn troublesom n boring here. no excitement. these day i get out of bed a late as possible n drag myself out of bed every morning. sigh... no excitement ma... two years ago i'll jump out of bed... gor motivation ma... hahaha... oh well, that is life... :(
Current Colour: black
Current Music: how can i not love u (joy enriquez)
Current Annoyance: unknown status
Current Obsession: to hurt as i was hurt
Current Physical Ailment: tired (physical, mentally, emotionally & spiritually.)
Nyeh. life sucks.... rumors r circulating. i lost my job. nyeh. no two weeks notice for me eh! how leh? no1 inside is telling me anything... hell, now i know how those KFC Holding directors feel now!
on the bright side, i had really, really nice dream abt my long lost crush. hahahha.. i dreamt he can back to curtin to do some stuffs. i think he can to do some training ka, apa ka... he join military or sth & he was doing search & rescue training. i avoided him like hell but he notice my reaction towards him. one day i ran away somewhere & end up in a river or tunnel or sth. got running water la & got lost. and who should save me but him... hahahaha... then the story goes on but it's for me to enjoy n not for u to know... Don't think dirty! i'm a good girl... ahaks! (Ja, I'll story u soon!)
sigh... which crush?? the one i vowed never to remember again. Sunshine. Sigh... He's so cute. hahaha... i forgot how cute he could be, u know. Aaargh!! cutie addiction. hehehe... make me so happy in a time when i am so down. hahahaha...it help more to think dat the ppl dat hurt me din like him. hahahaha... so i'm on the same side of the line now. nyeh! ;p hehehehe....
sigh... y life is so damn troublesom n boring here. no excitement. these day i get out of bed a late as possible n drag myself out of bed every morning. sigh... no excitement ma... two years ago i'll jump out of bed... gor motivation ma... hahaha... oh well, that is life... :(
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Some questions....
Why do people always act like they own me that they have the right to ask/make/force/ expect me to do all that they want and would forever bad mouth me if i refuse? Don't Ihave a right to do what i choose to do, what i wanna do or not do? Geez... some people always act like I don't have a brain and that they are always better than I am (eventhough at times I do even more that they do!)
Can't people face it that last sem I had to do 5 units and I'm never as free as I seemed? All the sleep I lot for nothing!
Last but not least....
Why people can always change the thing I do yet I can do so? Damn!! all my work should be copyrighted. And it would be so from July 18th 2005. (You would understand how it feels if you are an artiste/writer/composer/director/ anyone doin anything connected to THE ART!
Hmm... been thinking over... Who are my REAL friends?? Not people that rub it in or proclaim it every other day though... It seems so fake... I think my real friend are just a small handful and the rest are acquaintances. the rest are either one or more of these :
Why do people always act like they own me that they have the right to ask/make/force/ expect me to do all that they want and would forever bad mouth me if i refuse? Don't Ihave a right to do what i choose to do, what i wanna do or not do? Geez... some people always act like I don't have a brain and that they are always better than I am (eventhough at times I do even more that they do!)
Can't people face it that last sem I had to do 5 units and I'm never as free as I seemed? All the sleep I lot for nothing!
Last but not least....
Why people can always change the thing I do yet I can do so? Damn!! all my work should be copyrighted. And it would be so from July 18th 2005. (You would understand how it feels if you are an artiste/writer/composer/director/ anyone doin anything connected to THE ART!
Hmm... been thinking over... Who are my REAL friends?? Not people that rub it in or proclaim it every other day though... It seems so fake... I think my real friend are just a small handful and the rest are acquaintances. the rest are either one or more of these :
- hangers-on
- wannabe
- gossip mongers
- 2facers
- 'scissors-in-the-blanket'.
- or someone who are frens with me just to make me look bad, terrorise or psycho me (yeah, u d psycho person)
LOL... who wanna b me? I don't wanna be me. Some people told me that hate my personality so I guess I should turn back time and be the ME when I was 13-15: No responsibilities, who-cares, annoying, don't-give-a-damn trouble maker. It's about time I had some fun... won't hurt that Ai Ling might be coming next month and maybe who know Jaja might come also... hahaha.... But Curtin no Bukit (hill) to hang out orr... St mary's Bukit is the best! no1 sees u b u see every1... hahaha... Hmm... Won't it be nice being THE ONE giving excuses for not doing anywork for once?? which excuse to use? "sorry, I had to go for a manicure.." or "Sorry, i was caught up in the saloon" or "Eh, have to be there ka? I din know leh... I was out shopping alone. got sale bah/ at the cinema" or "Got class now? Damn la... I'm in town now... Cuci mata. Lazy to go back now la. Ta!" or "I was assigned to this meh? When? how come no one told me?/ R u sure?/ Why u dun do it yourself?/ why dun delegate or assign to others also?" It'll be heaven to use these... It's be a laugh!!! hahahaha....
I'm in a weird mood & it's coz some one gave me the feeling that he/she is sick with me (I'm complaining & whining again ma)... oh well, each to his own! Besides... it's the feeling I get when i'm going back to Curtin... soemthing sinister is going on... Of course someone sniffed out this fishy thing last year and slowly I'm realising it... More investigating to do to find the intentions and purpose of this fishy fiend... hahahaha... I love a good mystery...
gotta ciao & I'll blog more on my mundane, Idyllic and euphoric life in Brunei away from all the hassle and bustle of my usualy life. Some people have been telling me that when they think of me, they would always see me rushing or running from one place to another or from one (or more) errand(s) to another. LOL... I'm no superwoman la.
"Chacun a son gout" Each to his own...
P/S: do u haf a feeling dat as each sem goes by, I seem to be disliking going back to uni after the holidays??
PP/S: Dun be mad with what I say if u think it is u i am writing about.. might not be u... besides, who want to actully take to heart the endless rantings of a mentallt unstable person? hehehehe...
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Current Mood: dunno... nuts maybe
Current Colour: blue & black
Current Music: the tv in the background
Current Annoyance: sleepy
Current Obsession: to take masters or not? (retain BA or get MA?)
Current Physical Ailment: sleepy
yikes! nearly 4am. hehehe... well, feeling a bit surprised with what i found out.
as a kid, the name Canterbury was always floating around. I still remember my dad said something about going there, something abt meeting the Archbishop or Canterbury, the cathedral, etc etc... So, it's like not surprising that when i finally got over the phase of wanting to marry in Greece (yeah, yeah... i know i dream a lot), Canterbury is next. (whr next ah?) Read the guide, know the layout of the Cathedral (found in my dad's bookshelve) did my research & etc... Did not hurt dat Orlando is also from Canterbury... LOL... :P
Talking abt Orlando, I just found out that one of the uni that are my options (if I do decide to get MA) is practically his neighbor.. LOL. yeah, the uni of Kent is next to his old school (st. edmunds) and is opposite St. Thomas Hill where he lives (well, his mom la). hehehe... I didn't know when i was looking for uni. (I also found another uni nearby that offered courses dat my sis wanted.) the point was to find a place that offer courses that i want (& perhaps my is at the same time but in different unis) and is cheaper than London (yeah, i wanna do my Masters in UK). so i stumbled upon U of Kent (for me) &w as browsing through Canterbury uni & found out that they offers my sis' choices. U of Kent i like at leat 2 thousand pounds cheaper than London Film School. still wondering.. should i go?the problems are:
1. financial (duh!)
2. requirements: have to graduate with degree honours, which UNFORTUNATELY Curtin is not offering us (Mass Comm students)
3. It's kinda against my parents wishes: they dun want me to get into the industry (film)
4. it's gonna be c-o-l-d! (Yeah, i'm afraid of the cold. :p )
So now pening pening think of it. wanna prove to sum @ssholes that i actually have a brain. Besides, i'm actually scared to go into the working world. hehehe... My dream of studying in Uk esp London has been around for ages and got worse once in got into British music, films and celebrities (hell, look my my walls & the music i listen to). hehehe...
A background info.
it's not surprising when i got into this "British phase". the reasons?
1. i grew up around adults (my dad's friends & collegues) , quite number of them are English
2. One of my earliest memories is learning how to read from my dad's lecturer, an English man.
3. growing up, we tend to get gifts, cards & letters from UK.
4. I interracted a lot with foreigners (considering my dad's job & growing up in public, it's not surprising la)
5. There was a period where i had a slight accent, which i tend to slip into when i speak to foreigners. accidentally okay.
6. We were pretty close to the British High Commissioner in Brunei when we first moved here. He played the piano for the choir (my sis & I used to sing in the choir then)
7. I am registered in the Royal School of Church Music (RSCM)in UK since i was like, 8 years old.
8. since my dad studies in Australia then when he's alder he studies in UK, so why cant I study in an Australian uni (S'wak campus though) and then go to UK? hehehehe...
I stop at 8 before i tell u more nonsense. another reason why i wanna go to UK instead of US is coz my dad has more frens in UK than in US. hehehe... DUN MEAN TO BRAG but it doesn't hurt to dream right? Education is something one should pursue when one is still capable, innit? Besides, it doesn't hurt when the campus is near where i can 'cuci mata'. hehehehe... I miss doing that. Sigh... hopefully my life in 1 year's time is waaaay better than it is now...no more shit from psycho ppl...
Bleh, time to log off... it's nearly 4.30 am! wanna dream of Orlando la... Hmm... isn't it a wonder why I like guys who all have the ame features?
Current Colour: blue & black
Current Music: the tv in the background
Current Annoyance: sleepy
Current Obsession: to take masters or not? (retain BA or get MA?)
Current Physical Ailment: sleepy
yikes! nearly 4am. hehehe... well, feeling a bit surprised with what i found out.
as a kid, the name Canterbury was always floating around. I still remember my dad said something about going there, something abt meeting the Archbishop or Canterbury, the cathedral, etc etc... So, it's like not surprising that when i finally got over the phase of wanting to marry in Greece (yeah, yeah... i know i dream a lot), Canterbury is next. (whr next ah?) Read the guide, know the layout of the Cathedral (found in my dad's bookshelve) did my research & etc... Did not hurt dat Orlando is also from Canterbury... LOL... :P
Talking abt Orlando, I just found out that one of the uni that are my options (if I do decide to get MA) is practically his neighbor.. LOL. yeah, the uni of Kent is next to his old school (st. edmunds) and is opposite St. Thomas Hill where he lives (well, his mom la). hehehe... I didn't know when i was looking for uni. (I also found another uni nearby that offered courses dat my sis wanted.) the point was to find a place that offer courses that i want (& perhaps my is at the same time but in different unis) and is cheaper than London (yeah, i wanna do my Masters in UK). so i stumbled upon U of Kent (for me) &w as browsing through Canterbury uni & found out that they offers my sis' choices. U of Kent i like at leat 2 thousand pounds cheaper than London Film School. still wondering.. should i go?the problems are:
1. financial (duh!)
2. requirements: have to graduate with degree honours, which UNFORTUNATELY Curtin is not offering us (Mass Comm students)
3. It's kinda against my parents wishes: they dun want me to get into the industry (film)
4. it's gonna be c-o-l-d! (Yeah, i'm afraid of the cold. :p )
So now pening pening think of it. wanna prove to sum @ssholes that i actually have a brain. Besides, i'm actually scared to go into the working world. hehehe... My dream of studying in Uk esp London has been around for ages and got worse once in got into British music, films and celebrities (hell, look my my walls & the music i listen to). hehehe...
A background info.
it's not surprising when i got into this "British phase". the reasons?
1. i grew up around adults (my dad's friends & collegues) , quite number of them are English
2. One of my earliest memories is learning how to read from my dad's lecturer, an English man.
3. growing up, we tend to get gifts, cards & letters from UK.
4. I interracted a lot with foreigners (considering my dad's job & growing up in public, it's not surprising la)
5. There was a period where i had a slight accent, which i tend to slip into when i speak to foreigners. accidentally okay.
6. We were pretty close to the British High Commissioner in Brunei when we first moved here. He played the piano for the choir (my sis & I used to sing in the choir then)
7. I am registered in the Royal School of Church Music (RSCM)in UK since i was like, 8 years old.
8. since my dad studies in Australia then when he's alder he studies in UK, so why cant I study in an Australian uni (S'wak campus though) and then go to UK? hehehehe...
I stop at 8 before i tell u more nonsense. another reason why i wanna go to UK instead of US is coz my dad has more frens in UK than in US. hehehe... DUN MEAN TO BRAG but it doesn't hurt to dream right? Education is something one should pursue when one is still capable, innit? Besides, it doesn't hurt when the campus is near where i can 'cuci mata'. hehehehe... I miss doing that. Sigh... hopefully my life in 1 year's time is waaaay better than it is now...no more shit from psycho ppl...
Bleh, time to log off... it's nearly 4.30 am! wanna dream of Orlando la... Hmm... isn't it a wonder why I like guys who all have the ame features?
Monday, May 30, 2005
a quote from Jaja's may 27th blog
"I hate people who claim to hate hypocrites when they are the hypocrite! As for me, my hupocrisy is only due to my emotions. I hate it when people who are so much older than me proves themselves to be nothing more than childishly stupid or naive! Hypocrite."
Jezsiema's blog. (check my link if u wanna read the whole thing nyeh, it's almost like what i wanna write.)
"I hate people who claim to hate hypocrites when they are the hypocrite! As for me, my hupocrisy is only due to my emotions. I hate it when people who are so much older than me proves themselves to be nothing more than childishly stupid or naive! Hypocrite."
Jezsiema's blog. (check my link if u wanna read the whole thing nyeh, it's almost like what i wanna write.)
Current Mood: bad
Current Colour: black
Current Music: orlando talking
Current Annoyance: be an annoyance and to be annoyed
Current Obsession: send the email
Current Physical Ailment: still on the verge of breakdown
need i explain myself? nah. ppl wud never under stand (media so busy do they actually believe dat? of course not. y? coz assistant editor is always so free... duh! coz she is an ASISTANT, not the main!!)
should haf listen to Jaja n dun take up any responsibility... be like the old me... no responsibilities, no cares, no worries... i can do what i want, be what i want, say what i want and hell, till get top grdes without bothering to study (yeah, i haf to study now coz i'm no longer that smart.) Jaja said curtin is eating away my IQ... damn, i had an IQ almost as high as Bill Gates (he's 160, mine's 156) when i first started uni but over these years i've been taking the same test every sem and each sem my IQ gets lesser!!
"a man i known by the comapny he keeps"
nyeh, nyeh... i wonder what kind of comp[any is eating away my IQ... definitely the ppl i hang out in class... i get more creative with them... must be oneor more of the 6 or so other groups i hang out with... esp with that person that psychos me so much.. damn!!!
U know what... i'm willing to drop any responsibilities (including editing if i am force to) to get my sanity back, my dignity and my my social life. when i have to do something because of my parents ppl blame me for being so lame and stuffs... Hell, if i have to go back to brunei, it' not my fault ok... I dun drive!!! if i haf to go back from any events, meeting etc early, i have my reasons. i dun clubbing... i have my reasons.... damn. i keep uncomfortable lifestyle. maybe i should reassess my life and drop off all the unimportant stuffs...
fame get to one's head? nah, how to get to my head when nothing is right? i rather have a fuss n worry free life now. if i do what i really wanna do, do u think ppl respect me? hell, as Jaja said, curtin is ruining me.. i've changed. yeah, i guess so. bck then i never cared what ppl said but now one word can make o depressed...and to think that i cant be mean to ppl coz i dun wanna feel guilty. damn!I should haf jsut aid "f**k u" and leave all the times i'm so pressured and depressed by these ppl.. yeah, esp that person that have been psychoing me all this while. i know she is trying to do sth... make everyone hate me. damn. i think a HUGE group of ppl hates me now and after readin this more whould hate me... damn, i dun care anymore if they love her more. those who really care for me told me to ignore her... if only they knew who...
damn damn damn. life sucks. should have just appied to go to perth.t least i'll be in my element- ppl dun care abt u at all. rather be where no one is than be be with some many insecure uncaring ppl. i know why some ppl r hitting back at me... i make them look bad!!! hahahaha... self image...
U know what? i dun wanna say more. those ppl who thinks i have too much time for myself would haf lots to hate me for later...
serena
i have too much time? doin this while doin laundry la. how many sleepless nights i had these one month? who cares? no one cares. i'm not important. i'm not some royalty or famous or popular person. if i drop[ dead, bet there would be ppl saying "thank go she's gone. such an a**hole" think i dunno dat A LOT of PPL THINK I"M A LOSER?? We r all hypocrites so i know ok... U r lo$ers for not admiting it... y? do every1 know the REAL REAL u?? of course not. u put on ur best behavior. DUH! The real me? I'm a Bitch. full of revenge and yes, i dun give a damn for responsibility. all i wanna do is haf fun and shop, watch movies and hang out with frens... so sorry but I dun haf a social life so that's what i crave for now... drop all my responsibilities u said? Hello?? u saw how ppl talkso bad abt deb when she resigned fr CV? I know i'll be practically 'crucified' if i do anything CLOSE to that. hell, if i do that, (CV, council, group projects/assignments etc) Ppl would just hang me alive or bury me alive. damn.wish i never took the first step and ran for council in 2002... it gave me back the confidence i lost in brunei... life sucked in high sch but at least i had a life... hahahaha... nyehnyeh. I'll be p[rimanded when i get back to miri. i know... i would have a long list of ppl looking for me then... i know...
Current Colour: black
Current Music: orlando talking
Current Annoyance: be an annoyance and to be annoyed
Current Obsession: send the email
Current Physical Ailment: still on the verge of breakdown
need i explain myself? nah. ppl wud never under stand (media so busy do they actually believe dat? of course not. y? coz assistant editor is always so free... duh! coz she is an ASISTANT, not the main!!)
should haf listen to Jaja n dun take up any responsibility... be like the old me... no responsibilities, no cares, no worries... i can do what i want, be what i want, say what i want and hell, till get top grdes without bothering to study (yeah, i haf to study now coz i'm no longer that smart.) Jaja said curtin is eating away my IQ... damn, i had an IQ almost as high as Bill Gates (he's 160, mine's 156) when i first started uni but over these years i've been taking the same test every sem and each sem my IQ gets lesser!!
"a man i known by the comapny he keeps"
nyeh, nyeh... i wonder what kind of comp[any is eating away my IQ... definitely the ppl i hang out in class... i get more creative with them... must be oneor more of the 6 or so other groups i hang out with... esp with that person that psychos me so much.. damn!!!
U know what... i'm willing to drop any responsibilities (including editing if i am force to) to get my sanity back, my dignity and my my social life. when i have to do something because of my parents ppl blame me for being so lame and stuffs... Hell, if i have to go back to brunei, it' not my fault ok... I dun drive!!! if i haf to go back from any events, meeting etc early, i have my reasons. i dun clubbing... i have my reasons.... damn. i keep uncomfortable lifestyle. maybe i should reassess my life and drop off all the unimportant stuffs...
fame get to one's head? nah, how to get to my head when nothing is right? i rather have a fuss n worry free life now. if i do what i really wanna do, do u think ppl respect me? hell, as Jaja said, curtin is ruining me.. i've changed. yeah, i guess so. bck then i never cared what ppl said but now one word can make o depressed...and to think that i cant be mean to ppl coz i dun wanna feel guilty. damn!I should haf jsut aid "f**k u" and leave all the times i'm so pressured and depressed by these ppl.. yeah, esp that person that have been psychoing me all this while. i know she is trying to do sth... make everyone hate me. damn. i think a HUGE group of ppl hates me now and after readin this more whould hate me... damn, i dun care anymore if they love her more. those who really care for me told me to ignore her... if only they knew who...
damn damn damn. life sucks. should have just appied to go to perth.t least i'll be in my element- ppl dun care abt u at all. rather be where no one is than be be with some many insecure uncaring ppl. i know why some ppl r hitting back at me... i make them look bad!!! hahahaha... self image...
U know what? i dun wanna say more. those ppl who thinks i have too much time for myself would haf lots to hate me for later...
serena
i have too much time? doin this while doin laundry la. how many sleepless nights i had these one month? who cares? no one cares. i'm not important. i'm not some royalty or famous or popular person. if i drop[ dead, bet there would be ppl saying "thank go she's gone. such an a**hole" think i dunno dat A LOT of PPL THINK I"M A LOSER?? We r all hypocrites so i know ok... U r lo$ers for not admiting it... y? do every1 know the REAL REAL u?? of course not. u put on ur best behavior. DUH! The real me? I'm a Bitch. full of revenge and yes, i dun give a damn for responsibility. all i wanna do is haf fun and shop, watch movies and hang out with frens... so sorry but I dun haf a social life so that's what i crave for now... drop all my responsibilities u said? Hello?? u saw how ppl talkso bad abt deb when she resigned fr CV? I know i'll be practically 'crucified' if i do anything CLOSE to that. hell, if i do that, (CV, council, group projects/assignments etc) Ppl would just hang me alive or bury me alive. damn.wish i never took the first step and ran for council in 2002... it gave me back the confidence i lost in brunei... life sucked in high sch but at least i had a life... hahahaha... nyehnyeh. I'll be p[rimanded when i get back to miri. i know... i would have a long list of ppl looking for me then... i know...
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Current Mood: sombre
Current Colour: black
Current Music: Busted & McFly
Current Annoyance: sleepy
Current Obsession: sleep, sleep, sleep
Current Physical Ailment: hungry, sleepy n smelly
Nyeh... nth to put here... I love Orly. hehehehe... Hmm.. oh yeah, I updated my wishlist again TODAY. hehehehe... I want Orly leh... can I have him in a HUGE box for my birthday? hehehe.... wonder how u can transport him to Miri in less tahn 24 hours ah??? ;p
Current Colour: black
Current Music: Busted & McFly
Current Annoyance: sleepy
Current Obsession: sleep, sleep, sleep
Current Physical Ailment: hungry, sleepy n smelly
Nyeh... nth to put here... I love Orly. hehehehe... Hmm.. oh yeah, I updated my wishlist again TODAY. hehehehe... I want Orly leh... can I have him in a HUGE box for my birthday? hehehe.... wonder how u can transport him to Miri in less tahn 24 hours ah??? ;p
Monday, May 16, 2005
Current Mood: bad
Current Colour: black
Current Music: non
Current Annoyance: tired & overloaded with work & no time to rest or party
Current Obsession: finish work, work work work
Current Physical Ailment: sleep & hungry
just before i turn 21 i have one question...
who am i?
what am i?
what am i supposed to be?
WHO m i supposed to be??
do i even have an identity????
shit man i'm so depressed... i duneven know who m i supposed to be anymore. this bunch of ppl tell me i shud be like this... my parents tell me to be like that. my close classmates tell me to be like who i want to be (but how m i supposed to know??) & my best fren Jaja tell me i shud follow my heart n do what ever i want n be who ever i wanna be (carefree like i was before i step into curtin!!).... I m so stressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What can i do?????????????????????????
Current Colour: black
Current Music: non
Current Annoyance: tired & overloaded with work & no time to rest or party
Current Obsession: finish work, work work work
Current Physical Ailment: sleep & hungry
just before i turn 21 i have one question...
who am i?
what am i?
what am i supposed to be?
WHO m i supposed to be??
do i even have an identity????
shit man i'm so depressed... i duneven know who m i supposed to be anymore. this bunch of ppl tell me i shud be like this... my parents tell me to be like that. my close classmates tell me to be like who i want to be (but how m i supposed to know??) & my best fren Jaja tell me i shud follow my heart n do what ever i want n be who ever i wanna be (carefree like i was before i step into curtin!!).... I m so stressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What can i do?????????????????????????
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Current Mood: dunno
Current Colour: black
Current Music: some jiwang Richard Claderman song (not me play one!)
Current Annoyance: wanna shit... hahaha
Current Obsession: sleepy
Current Physical Ailment: back ache & stomach ache (PMS I think)
hmmm... i dunno la but this jiwang music makes me feel... erm, dunno la... *SIGH* u know, all this while (for the past 6 months) I've been pretty mum abt my 'relationship' with Sunshine (as friend la). Outside I seem pretty ok esp since he is now out of my life.
But seriously, eventhough the time we were frens i treasure a lot, thr's lots of up & downs in that 1 year plus... I dunno but maybe i'm just sensitive la but sometime i feel like he only befriended me (well, i took the first step but yeah, he accepted it) only for his own gain. Dunno la... Just my feelings. I mean yeah, he's pretty nice & did do some nice thingies like opening the door & stuffs but I dunno how to say la... It's like sometimes I'm so invisible. Oh well, most ppl think I am so anyway.
I dunno y but these Curtin guys r really crazy & insane sometimes. They scare me alot u know sometimes. I know some close frens knows this but it was SHOCKING when someone "invited" me to bed with him.... (not in those words). HELLO!!! u CRAZY KA??? ppl think dat i'm like dat jez because i hangout with guys. Excuse me! then thr's this guy, i wrote notes for him when he was sick but he dun really seem to remember it (duh! & I failed dat unit pula).
Sometimes, it's nice to be appreciated u know... lots of ppl treat me like dat. I'm so sad. I mean, i do do things sincerely from the heart but sometimes it's nice to be appreciated & thanked. Esp from friends dat u care for, ppl dat u respect. Yeah.... life's like dat & i shud jez take it as it is. I'm jez bein a bitch now... PMS wat to do...
Aaargh!!! I dunno y i'm so crazy today... these few days. Sunshine is giving nightmares each night (no more sweet dreams of him...) I fear dat he might one day coem to murder me... hahahah,..... dat's wat my dream says wat... hahhaha... well, gtg & gd nite...
Current Colour: black
Current Music: some jiwang Richard Claderman song (not me play one!)
Current Annoyance: wanna shit... hahaha
Current Obsession: sleepy
Current Physical Ailment: back ache & stomach ache (PMS I think)
hmmm... i dunno la but this jiwang music makes me feel... erm, dunno la... *SIGH* u know, all this while (for the past 6 months) I've been pretty mum abt my 'relationship' with Sunshine (as friend la). Outside I seem pretty ok esp since he is now out of my life.
But seriously, eventhough the time we were frens i treasure a lot, thr's lots of up & downs in that 1 year plus... I dunno but maybe i'm just sensitive la but sometime i feel like he only befriended me (well, i took the first step but yeah, he accepted it) only for his own gain. Dunno la... Just my feelings. I mean yeah, he's pretty nice & did do some nice thingies like opening the door & stuffs but I dunno how to say la... It's like sometimes I'm so invisible. Oh well, most ppl think I am so anyway.
I dunno y but these Curtin guys r really crazy & insane sometimes. They scare me alot u know sometimes. I know some close frens knows this but it was SHOCKING when someone "invited" me to bed with him.... (not in those words). HELLO!!! u CRAZY KA??? ppl think dat i'm like dat jez because i hangout with guys. Excuse me! then thr's this guy, i wrote notes for him when he was sick but he dun really seem to remember it (duh! & I failed dat unit pula).
Sometimes, it's nice to be appreciated u know... lots of ppl treat me like dat. I'm so sad. I mean, i do do things sincerely from the heart but sometimes it's nice to be appreciated & thanked. Esp from friends dat u care for, ppl dat u respect. Yeah.... life's like dat & i shud jez take it as it is. I'm jez bein a bitch now... PMS wat to do...
Aaargh!!! I dunno y i'm so crazy today... these few days. Sunshine is giving nightmares each night (no more sweet dreams of him...) I fear dat he might one day coem to murder me... hahahah,..... dat's wat my dream says wat... hahhaha... well, gtg & gd nite...
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Current Mood: dunno... moody
Current Colour: blue
Current Music: You've got a friend (McFly)
Current Annoyance: jez annoyed...
Current Obsession: losing 20 kilos so dat ill be underweight (haha *sarcastic)
Current Physical Ailment: sick la.... mentally insane & down wid sore throat, cough & flu
sigh... i'm goin crazy... jez wanna put sum words down... supposed to sleep but after i got offline & listen to the song below I jez cant sleep... Tho dat's not the only reason y i cant sleep... Y do i have so much pressure from so many ppl... all around me... in Miri, Brunei & kuching... I'm only human. i also haf feelings la... now so torn abt things... i wanna run 4 council & ppl re counting on me too but my mum said if i run she'll be very sad... what shud i do???? Aaaargh!!!!! i wish my 2 best frens r here... esp Jaja coz she's so used to my complains & stuffs... at least she can calm me Damn!! life sucks! :(
Seryna (sick, sad & insane)
P/S: Ja & Ai Ling, this song is dedicated to the two of u... wish u were here... still down & despressed by Sunshine too (a little) even though he's an ass... i do miss him a little... especially since it's rainining here in Brunei.. :( & sometime i can talk abt things wid him coz he has a calming effect on me.. shit la... shud not think of him anymore la!! he's is wherever he is & I dun care anymore... (yeah, who m i kidding???)
You've Got A Friend (McFly)
When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, Oh nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running (yeah) to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend (ooh)
If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud, yeah
Soon I'll be knocking upon your door
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yes I will
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
People can be so cold
They'll hurt you, and desert you
Well they'll take your soul if you let them
Oh yeah, but don't you let them
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
(Oh baby don't you know about)
Winter, spring, summer or fall
Hey Now!
All you have to do is call
Lord, I'll be there yes I will.
You've got a friend
Oh, you've got a friend.
Aint it good to know you've got a friend.
Aint it good to know you've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
(Ja, check ur yahoo mail)
Current Colour: blue
Current Music: You've got a friend (McFly)
Current Annoyance: jez annoyed...
Current Obsession: losing 20 kilos so dat ill be underweight (haha *sarcastic)
Current Physical Ailment: sick la.... mentally insane & down wid sore throat, cough & flu
sigh... i'm goin crazy... jez wanna put sum words down... supposed to sleep but after i got offline & listen to the song below I jez cant sleep... Tho dat's not the only reason y i cant sleep... Y do i have so much pressure from so many ppl... all around me... in Miri, Brunei & kuching... I'm only human. i also haf feelings la... now so torn abt things... i wanna run 4 council & ppl re counting on me too but my mum said if i run she'll be very sad... what shud i do???? Aaaargh!!!!! i wish my 2 best frens r here... esp Jaja coz she's so used to my complains & stuffs... at least she can calm me Damn!! life sucks! :(
Seryna (sick, sad & insane)
P/S: Ja & Ai Ling, this song is dedicated to the two of u... wish u were here... still down & despressed by Sunshine too (a little) even though he's an ass... i do miss him a little... especially since it's rainining here in Brunei.. :( & sometime i can talk abt things wid him coz he has a calming effect on me.. shit la... shud not think of him anymore la!! he's is wherever he is & I dun care anymore... (yeah, who m i kidding???)
You've Got A Friend (McFly)
When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, Oh nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running (yeah) to see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend (ooh)
If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud, yeah
Soon I'll be knocking upon your door
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yes I will
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you got to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
People can be so cold
They'll hurt you, and desert you
Well they'll take your soul if you let them
Oh yeah, but don't you let them
You just call out my name
And you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again
(Oh baby don't you know about)
Winter, spring, summer or fall
Hey Now!
All you have to do is call
Lord, I'll be there yes I will.
You've got a friend
Oh, you've got a friend.
Aint it good to know you've got a friend.
Aint it good to know you've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
(Ja, check ur yahoo mail)
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Colour: maroon
Current Music: tuned to MTV
Current Annoyance: sleepyt
Current Obsession: losing weigh
Current Physical Ailment: i'm fat
at last, back home in brunei... second night... good to be back. my back. my bro's taller & i'm still growing fatter... hahahah...
went shopping with my mum & bought 2 shirts. i also convinced my mum to buy hair dye for me... heheheh... sigh... wat to say? i just wanna download songs but my kazaa damn slow la.
life was so crazy last week... i learned new things, lost few things (most my mind) reconcile so friendships, broken off an impossible tie (bye @ass!!), shed some tears (yeah, i did), discover some surprising things, reconfirm my suspicions on some stuffs, got turn off... etc.. damn, life sucked then. btw, some fatcs.
1. i dont suck in public speaking if i'm comfortable with the crowd & topic.
2. but even if i do, i still suck if u expect me to talk with a mic coz i hate mics. i sound weird.
3. i am fat.
4. guys suck sometimes... u dun know what theyactually want from u.... (trust me, i know)
5. some ppl act so perfect but they r not
6. some ppl r so nice but they might haf hidden agendas- trust no one including urself
7. i am my worse enemy.
8. i'm so lonely
9. and sad
10. and easily being manipulated sometimes... :(
sigh... dunno wat i'll end up doing... anyway i got this from JAJA.
"Life is Like A Bed of Roses. Life is like a Bed of Roses,The Roses symbolizes beauty,And the thorns from the roses symbolizes pain."
.::. Call Me Crazy .::..::. Mark Your Word .::.
1.Would you marry for money?- nope... I think it does not guarantee a marriage. he might not be hot!! hahahaha...
2. Do you have a LOVELIFE?- yes, with myself... who would love me (which reminds me of wat i said s other day... i was so depressed n said "nobody wants me, nobody loves me" & my new bro Oscar said "i love u lorr..." hahahah... crazy kid.
3. Could you live without a computer?- no... hehe... nope... a big no no! everywhere I go, my laptop goes! Imagine goin 4 Ram's class & thr's no laptop to type notes on or no macs to edit movies on. worse, no internet or music!!
4. If you could live in any past time period where would it be?- marilyn monroe's time coz they like fat women... hahahah... or in ancient greece (& become a goddess... ahhahah) {sorry, me drunk with sleepiness.
5. Do you drink enough water?- me thinks, NO.
6. Do you wear shoes in the house or take em off?- take them off...tho sometimes i do wear flip flops ind hse... esp d kitchen. heheheh:)
7. What are your favorite fruits?- English guys... nah, jez kidding. peaches, mandrin oranges, grapes, rambutans, etc... oh & mangoes esp d huge red ones i get 4 Chinese New Yearhahaha...
8. What is your favorite place to visit?- la la land, dream land & seryna's world of fantasy... heheheh... hmmm... d land of impossibleness, storybook fiction & hollywood romance. (ok ok, it's KL & NZ la) :)
9. Are you photogenic?- hmm... am i? yeah, sometimes... c my friendster pics la...
10. Do you dream in color or black and white?- 100% technicolour, dah-ling. I dream in a Hollywood-like world. hahaha... :)
11. Why do you take surveys?- coz i'm bored n sleepy but got insomnia.
12. Do you drink alcohol?- nope.
13. What is the most beautiful language?- the language of love... that is, any language love is expressed in... ahhahaha... french & british english
14. Do you like being kissed when you are asleep?- I would love it... but noone has ever kissed me... :(
15. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?- both coz they r nice sceneries to take pics of. esp sunsets because it is just plain romantic! HAHA!!
16. Do you want to live to be 100?- hmm... I don't know... :)
17. Is a flat stomach important to you?- guess so... how to wear baju ah? i cat look decent witha tummy!
18. Are you tolerant of other people's beliefs?- guess so coz one of my best's Muslim & the other is Buddhist & i haf frens wid many different nationalities, beliefs, religions & culture. so ok la.
19.When you watch movies at home, do you likethe lights on or off?- always on coz i dun off my bedroom lights!
20. Do you believe in magic?- hmm... maybe... life is full of question marks???
21.Do you think you can draw well?- dunno...depends on mood... but i did get a credit for art in O levels eventhough i only did art for 1 1/2 yr!
22.Do you like to watch cartoons?- most definitely... i was jez watching Cartoon Network... haha!
23.At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?- i dunno... did i even cared? no
24. Do you write poetry?- i do.. sometimes. only when i'm depressed & really mad... i haf a blog of it... jez a few. u gotta search coz i dun put any links to it. hahaha...
25.Do you snore?- only when i'm EXTREMELY tired. like dat day i had only 2 hrs of sleep & d wek b4 dat i sleep 4 hrs everyday so when i fell asleep at mabel's i was snoring. hehehe
26.Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?- back & sides. i must sleepon my side to fall asleep. haha!! :)
27.Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?- NONE! I don't like dogs... i mean, dog attacks are getting rather critical!! =s & they smell & hates me... hehehe
28. Are you basically a happy person?- well mostly I'm happy but sometimes i jez get sad like others but 99% of the time no one really knows. I put on an act more often than u know.
29.Are you tired?- now, yes... almost dead on my @ss... sleepy la. 4.30am!!
30. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?- nope. no cola at all today. had 2 cans on friday & got told off buy parents! hehehehe... i'm nearly 21 la io! hehehe
31.How many phones do you have in your house?- in miri 1- mine. but in brunei 5 handphones-(i haf 2) & 3 hse phones.
33.Do you get along with your parents?- ok la... only except when they bug me... hehehe...
34. Do u smoke?- nope. dun wanna died so fast!!
35. If you're gonna talk to someone, today, who would it be? and why?- if i see any cute guy & he & i got chemistry ok la... hehehehe... jez bein friendly ma.
lalalala... k. wanna sleep soon. jez waiting 4 kazza to complete d/l songs... heheheh... sleeping in the living room again coz i get to use d internet & watch MTV til i drop... heheheh.. :p
Seryna
Current Colour: maroon
Current Music: tuned to MTV
Current Annoyance: sleepyt
Current Obsession: losing weigh
Current Physical Ailment: i'm fat
at last, back home in brunei... second night... good to be back. my back. my bro's taller & i'm still growing fatter... hahahah...
went shopping with my mum & bought 2 shirts. i also convinced my mum to buy hair dye for me... heheheh... sigh... wat to say? i just wanna download songs but my kazaa damn slow la.
life was so crazy last week... i learned new things, lost few things (most my mind) reconcile so friendships, broken off an impossible tie (bye @ass!!), shed some tears (yeah, i did), discover some surprising things, reconfirm my suspicions on some stuffs, got turn off... etc.. damn, life sucked then. btw, some fatcs.
1. i dont suck in public speaking if i'm comfortable with the crowd & topic.
2. but even if i do, i still suck if u expect me to talk with a mic coz i hate mics. i sound weird.
3. i am fat.
4. guys suck sometimes... u dun know what theyactually want from u.... (trust me, i know)
5. some ppl act so perfect but they r not
6. some ppl r so nice but they might haf hidden agendas- trust no one including urself
7. i am my worse enemy.
8. i'm so lonely
9. and sad
10. and easily being manipulated sometimes... :(
sigh... dunno wat i'll end up doing... anyway i got this from JAJA.
"Life is Like A Bed of Roses. Life is like a Bed of Roses,The Roses symbolizes beauty,And the thorns from the roses symbolizes pain."
.::. Call Me Crazy .::..::. Mark Your Word .::.
1.Would you marry for money?- nope... I think it does not guarantee a marriage. he might not be hot!! hahahaha...
2. Do you have a LOVELIFE?- yes, with myself... who would love me (which reminds me of wat i said s other day... i was so depressed n said "nobody wants me, nobody loves me" & my new bro Oscar said "i love u lorr..." hahahah... crazy kid.
3. Could you live without a computer?- no... hehe... nope... a big no no! everywhere I go, my laptop goes! Imagine goin 4 Ram's class & thr's no laptop to type notes on or no macs to edit movies on. worse, no internet or music!!
4. If you could live in any past time period where would it be?- marilyn monroe's time coz they like fat women... hahahah... or in ancient greece (& become a goddess... ahhahah) {sorry, me drunk with sleepiness.
5. Do you drink enough water?- me thinks, NO.
6. Do you wear shoes in the house or take em off?- take them off...tho sometimes i do wear flip flops ind hse... esp d kitchen. heheheh:)
7. What are your favorite fruits?- English guys... nah, jez kidding. peaches, mandrin oranges, grapes, rambutans, etc... oh & mangoes esp d huge red ones i get 4 Chinese New Yearhahaha...
8. What is your favorite place to visit?- la la land, dream land & seryna's world of fantasy... heheheh... hmmm... d land of impossibleness, storybook fiction & hollywood romance. (ok ok, it's KL & NZ la) :)
9. Are you photogenic?- hmm... am i? yeah, sometimes... c my friendster pics la...
10. Do you dream in color or black and white?- 100% technicolour, dah-ling. I dream in a Hollywood-like world. hahaha... :)
11. Why do you take surveys?- coz i'm bored n sleepy but got insomnia.
12. Do you drink alcohol?- nope.
13. What is the most beautiful language?- the language of love... that is, any language love is expressed in... ahhahaha... french & british english
14. Do you like being kissed when you are asleep?- I would love it... but noone has ever kissed me... :(
15. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?- both coz they r nice sceneries to take pics of. esp sunsets because it is just plain romantic! HAHA!!
16. Do you want to live to be 100?- hmm... I don't know... :)
17. Is a flat stomach important to you?- guess so... how to wear baju ah? i cat look decent witha tummy!
18. Are you tolerant of other people's beliefs?- guess so coz one of my best's Muslim & the other is Buddhist & i haf frens wid many different nationalities, beliefs, religions & culture. so ok la.
19.When you watch movies at home, do you likethe lights on or off?- always on coz i dun off my bedroom lights!
20. Do you believe in magic?- hmm... maybe... life is full of question marks???
21.Do you think you can draw well?- dunno...depends on mood... but i did get a credit for art in O levels eventhough i only did art for 1 1/2 yr!
22.Do you like to watch cartoons?- most definitely... i was jez watching Cartoon Network... haha!
23.At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?- i dunno... did i even cared? no
24. Do you write poetry?- i do.. sometimes. only when i'm depressed & really mad... i haf a blog of it... jez a few. u gotta search coz i dun put any links to it. hahaha...
25.Do you snore?- only when i'm EXTREMELY tired. like dat day i had only 2 hrs of sleep & d wek b4 dat i sleep 4 hrs everyday so when i fell asleep at mabel's i was snoring. hehehe
26.Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?- back & sides. i must sleepon my side to fall asleep. haha!! :)
27.Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?- NONE! I don't like dogs... i mean, dog attacks are getting rather critical!! =s & they smell & hates me... hehehe
28. Are you basically a happy person?- well mostly I'm happy but sometimes i jez get sad like others but 99% of the time no one really knows. I put on an act more often than u know.
29.Are you tired?- now, yes... almost dead on my @ss... sleepy la. 4.30am!!
30. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?- nope. no cola at all today. had 2 cans on friday & got told off buy parents! hehehehe... i'm nearly 21 la io! hehehe
31.How many phones do you have in your house?- in miri 1- mine. but in brunei 5 handphones-(i haf 2) & 3 hse phones.
33.Do you get along with your parents?- ok la... only except when they bug me... hehehe...
34. Do u smoke?- nope. dun wanna died so fast!!
35. If you're gonna talk to someone, today, who would it be? and why?- if i see any cute guy & he & i got chemistry ok la... hehehehe... jez bein friendly ma.
lalalala... k. wanna sleep soon. jez waiting 4 kazza to complete d/l songs... heheheh... sleeping in the living room again coz i get to use d internet & watch MTV til i drop... heheheh.. :p
Seryna
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Current Mood: Depressed
Current Colour: black
Current Music: none
Current Annoyance: "I'm too free..."
Current Obsession: supposedly to be free but now facing a dead end...
Current Physical Ailment: headache & heartache
Hmmm... I think I hurt sum ppl's feelings in yesterday's blog... so what d fuck do I care since ppl tend to think that they have the rught to hurt me but no me them? Anyway, still quite mad rite now & last nite i sleep quite late & had nightmares... where everyone hates me & there was like a riot to get rid of me... so damn fucking freaky la.
Anyway, I REALLY REALLY need help here... I can't think of any product/services to do an ad on... & my assignment is due like this Thursday... have to write a product statement, write the script & draw the storyboard in two nights... tho I think I'm gonna flunk this coz I HAF NO TIME TO DO IT!!!! ppl seem not to notice i need time alone to do my work! sheeh!
Then I just found out that tomorrow (wednesday) I have to bring my documentary draft & present it to class tmrw... how to do when i have no time??? I need to go to the Family Planning centre to do research and stuffs (coz my topic is Sexual Education) but no time... not even sure if i can go back for Easter this weekend... Just now my dad's friend just called to tell me to pass sth to my dad but how can I if I dun go back??? Terrible... My relationship with my family is like deteorating.... Well, some ppl dun care if their do or are happy if their do but SORRY I really care abt my family ok... I really miss home & I miss my bro... haf not seen him since Chinese New Year!!!
*sigh... my life is going down the drain... I told my friend if I die... some ppl would have a party and celebrate!! Shit ya but i guess & i'm sure it's true... WELL, IF U REALLY WANT ME TO DIE PUSH ME MORE & ONE DAY I'LL FALL OFF THE CLIFF LA.... The sooner the better coz it hurts.... So better plan my death soon la.... I can bet RM10 that thr is perhaps a committee by tonight... hahahaha..... I wonder which groups of friends ya.... since I haf so many friends... CV ke, class ke, others ke, media ke, Sunshine's friends ke (i'm sure they wanna get rd of me 4 him!).... etc... hahahhaha...... Yes... I'm on the BRINK OF INSANITY NOW so if u dun wanna kill me, send me to mental hospital la... Assholes.
hahahahahahahahahahahaha.....
"I'm goin crazy, I'm going cra--zaie, I'm goin crazy, I'm goin crazy...."
-KRU's Girlfriends's Girlfriend
Current Colour: black
Current Music: none
Current Annoyance: "I'm too free..."
Current Obsession: supposedly to be free but now facing a dead end...
Current Physical Ailment: headache & heartache
Hmmm... I think I hurt sum ppl's feelings in yesterday's blog... so what d fuck do I care since ppl tend to think that they have the rught to hurt me but no me them? Anyway, still quite mad rite now & last nite i sleep quite late & had nightmares... where everyone hates me & there was like a riot to get rid of me... so damn fucking freaky la.
Anyway, I REALLY REALLY need help here... I can't think of any product/services to do an ad on... & my assignment is due like this Thursday... have to write a product statement, write the script & draw the storyboard in two nights... tho I think I'm gonna flunk this coz I HAF NO TIME TO DO IT!!!! ppl seem not to notice i need time alone to do my work! sheeh!
Then I just found out that tomorrow (wednesday) I have to bring my documentary draft & present it to class tmrw... how to do when i have no time??? I need to go to the Family Planning centre to do research and stuffs (coz my topic is Sexual Education) but no time... not even sure if i can go back for Easter this weekend... Just now my dad's friend just called to tell me to pass sth to my dad but how can I if I dun go back??? Terrible... My relationship with my family is like deteorating.... Well, some ppl dun care if their do or are happy if their do but SORRY I really care abt my family ok... I really miss home & I miss my bro... haf not seen him since Chinese New Year!!!
*sigh... my life is going down the drain... I told my friend if I die... some ppl would have a party and celebrate!! Shit ya but i guess & i'm sure it's true... WELL, IF U REALLY WANT ME TO DIE PUSH ME MORE & ONE DAY I'LL FALL OFF THE CLIFF LA.... The sooner the better coz it hurts.... So better plan my death soon la.... I can bet RM10 that thr is perhaps a committee by tonight... hahahaha..... I wonder which groups of friends ya.... since I haf so many friends... CV ke, class ke, others ke, media ke, Sunshine's friends ke (i'm sure they wanna get rd of me 4 him!).... etc... hahahhaha...... Yes... I'm on the BRINK OF INSANITY NOW so if u dun wanna kill me, send me to mental hospital la... Assholes.
hahahahahahahahahahahaha.....
"I'm goin crazy, I'm going cra--zaie, I'm goin crazy, I'm goin crazy...."
-KRU's Girlfriends's Girlfriend
Monday, March 21, 2005
~ What I've been up to in the last 36 hours
Current Mood: Sad,heartbroken & depressed... cried twice in 2 hrs (btw, i dun cry easily)
Current Colour: Black & red
Current Music: Take My Breath Away (well crying does dat rite?)
Current Annoyance: being underestimated & lack of time to study
Current Obsession: Suicidal (hahaha....)
Current Physical Ailment: headache, fever & period (but do ppl care? NOOO!)
What I did in the past 36 hours or so (in no particular order) regarding CV! matters.
Current Mood: Sad,heartbroken & depressed... cried twice in 2 hrs (btw, i dun cry easily)
Current Colour: Black & red
Current Music: Take My Breath Away (well crying does dat rite?)
Current Annoyance: being underestimated & lack of time to study
Current Obsession: Suicidal (hahaha....)
Current Physical Ailment: headache, fever & period (but do ppl care? NOOO!)
What I did in the past 36 hours or so (in no particular order) regarding CV! matters.
- help Tiang to search & burn pictures for slides, blog etc.
- help Iqbal to search, copy, burn or transfer pictures for CV! flash presentation
- Ask Debbie for past CV! files
- Check CV! email & read the reply from Noizy Minority regarding Tsunami Charity
- Check CV! friendster & approve new friend
- Look for free web hosting, domain & email to enable easier, faster & effective communication & to store CV! data such as name database.
- Email Philip Khor (my friend) regarding the webhosting services he offer
- Count CV! t-shirts until i forget how to count coz I'm too exhausted
- ATTEND AN IMPROMPTU MEETING
- complete the namelist database
- Try to come up with a pop up for CV! t-shirt sales, due on Tuesday.
- Search for the CV! banners signed during O Week club registration
- Retrieve email from Philip regarding my enquiries about the website hosting, domain, email etc...
- not sure yet but got meeting at 8.30
hmm... nothing to do? Gimme a call to do my product statement, script & storyboard for an advertisement due this Thursday 24/3 at 12 noon. 3 assiggnments-in-1!! Tag me or call me!
I REALLY dun haf time to study anymore yet ppl still moan I'm too free. shit la. if i'm so fre might as well go back to Brunei la. Mum's mad at me coz I dfidn't go back as planned last week & Dad's mad at me coz I'm not going back this weekend for Good Friday & Easter. Ppl can be so inconsiderate. I think I'll die young & go to hell coz I live a stressfull life (stress=highblood, heart disease & perhaps brain cancer) & hell coz I DON"T GO TO CHURCH coz I haf no time. Hell, I had 2 hrs of sleep only last nite & I practically 'fainted' at Mabel's & if coz I wasn't thinking of work, bet I'll sleep til the end of week free... heheheh.... I wish I haf a clone to do all my work the I can go carvotting around town.... I WISH! (*Dexter... can I borrow ur clonning machine... Please...) Hahahaha...
my eyes r sore from crying but no one cares except Jae & Izzah... & i never cry in fronty of them... hell, I dun cry much & d last time was when my sis & I had a physical fight whr I got cuts. Sometimes I wonder who r my real friends... What Jae said a long time ago is true & Candy was right when she told me somethings (but i've not told others yet...) Jaja said ppl can step on my head to easily & I'm too nice... Damn! I'm so dumb & stupid. I'm no puppet but ppl consider me to be... I feel like quiting running 4 council.... but i dunno la... dunno WHO wud vote 4 me... maybe those dat wanna 'use' me or perhaps NO ONE wud vote. so embarrasing leh....
Ja, wish u r here to help me out of my misery... I ddn't cry so much when Sunshine hurt me... Damn! I'm so stress & got period dat I need a break dat's y I brokedowqn... I'm getting a nervous breakdoiwn but no one cares... Sunshine, if u read this, send me a sms, gimme a call or SMS k... I need a friend who's subjective to my current life in Uni (coz u r not here anymore...)
Damn, damn, damn!! I feel so sucky now. I've not taken my books yet & it's out of stock... no time what... hey, Maybe i jez collapse & ten they admit me to hospital good kan?? Hmmm... a good idea since I'm gonna start the all orange juice diet soon... hehehe... my vision is blur now la... bzzzz..... feeling dizzy... hehehehe.... Wheee...!!! lack of blood due to period plus lack of food plus lack of sleep make a maniacal Seryna!! hehehehe... Wheee...!! just found out meeting is cancelled. Damn!! think I'm so free to come & go ka? I haf to study la dum dum.... sheeeh!!! lalalala... better log off BEFORE I OFFEND PPL... *so weird... i dun wanna offend ppl but ppl LOVE offending me... hehehehehe....*
Tatatatata
I'm A Maniac...
SORRY LA IF I OFFEND ANYONE... Lalala.... can u book me a room in the mental hospital in Kuching?? First class ya... thanks!!! Wheeee......
Current Mood: dunno... haf feeling all day
Current Colour: black
Current Music: purest of pain (correct ka d name) spannish version
Current Annoyance: itchy eyes
Current Obsession: Alonso, Alex & Andy (hahahaha....)
Current Physical Ailment: wanna shit... hahahaha
This is a reply to Iqqy's question:
"What is it that qualifies a man to be bestowed the benevolent title of a Brother?"
- be there when I'm in need (even buy food for me... hehehe)
- giving advices to me
- cheering me up when i'm down
- giving good hugs *GRIN* esp Iqqy & Charlie.
- just being fun ppl to be with & learn things from a 'man's point of view'
- get 'theory education' in Desserts... I think they think we're nuts! hehehe
- keeps me safe when we go out (well 3 bros to 1 girl is considered safe rite?)
erm.... dunno eh. it's just destined to be... Maybe... hehehe... But i can say for sure, i dun call a person brother jez to stop him liking me... hehehehe.. THANK GOD I NEVER HAF TO DO DAT... hehehe... coz it's weird... hahahaha....
Current Colour: black
Current Music: purest of pain (correct ka d name) spannish version
Current Annoyance: itchy eyes
Current Obsession: Alonso, Alex & Andy (hahahaha....)
Current Physical Ailment: wanna shit... hahahaha
This is a reply to Iqqy's question:
"What is it that qualifies a man to be bestowed the benevolent title of a Brother?"
- be there when I'm in need (even buy food for me... hehehe)
- giving advices to me
- cheering me up when i'm down
- giving good hugs *GRIN* esp Iqqy & Charlie.
- just being fun ppl to be with & learn things from a 'man's point of view'
- get 'theory education' in Desserts... I think they think we're nuts! hehehe
- keeps me safe when we go out (well 3 bros to 1 girl is considered safe rite?)
erm.... dunno eh. it's just destined to be... Maybe... hehehe... But i can say for sure, i dun call a person brother jez to stop him liking me... hehehehe.. THANK GOD I NEVER HAF TO DO DAT... hehehe... coz it's weird... hahahaha....
Monday, March 14, 2005
Bizarre day in Miri
SUNDAY- Something bizarre happened in Miri. The soon-to-be Resort City located in South East Asian country Malaysia was hit by a heat wave for the past one week. Today it hit a record of 39.5° Celsius centigrade. However, this is not the most bizarre occurrence. Today, the streets of Miri town especially around Bintang Plaza and The Imperial Mall we practically bare of people- residents and visitors from Brunei were almost non-existent!
According to a driver, Miss Hee, the roads were for once free of congestions and one could practically drive in the middle of the road. Her friend who refused to be identified said that it is as if the place was haunted and if she were dared, she could probably lie on the roads! Any Miri residents that frequent Bintang Plaza and The Imperial Mall would probably tell you that the roads in those areas are usually congested by cars and empty parking spaces are usually limited or non-existent. However, today the parking lots of these two popular shopping malls were barely half occupied. Bear in mind, it is a Sunday when every Tom, Dick and Harry are usually seen with the friends, families and so on in to town. The ever busy round about near the Bulatan Park was also void of traffic.
So my dear readers, what has happened to the residents of Miri? One resident of Miri said that perhaps Miri was finally been invaded by aliens thus the heat wave and the ‘disappearances’ of most of the population. She then went on to cite the events that occurred in Roswell, emphasizing on the similar heat wave period. Yours truly however, believes that Miri is now facing a dry and hot season. Some places have already shown signs of draught and lakes are drying at an alarming rate. Any self respecting individual would be saving water right now for a rainy day. Sorry, I mean for any emergencies, though everyone would be glad for a heavy downpour anytime soon. So dear readers, remember to control the usage of water and consume on what is needed.
What about the supposedly ‘missing’ people in town? Perhaps they find the weather too hot to venture out. Or perhaps they have been abducted by aliens….
SUNDAY- Something bizarre happened in Miri. The soon-to-be Resort City located in South East Asian country Malaysia was hit by a heat wave for the past one week. Today it hit a record of 39.5° Celsius centigrade. However, this is not the most bizarre occurrence. Today, the streets of Miri town especially around Bintang Plaza and The Imperial Mall we practically bare of people- residents and visitors from Brunei were almost non-existent!
According to a driver, Miss Hee, the roads were for once free of congestions and one could practically drive in the middle of the road. Her friend who refused to be identified said that it is as if the place was haunted and if she were dared, she could probably lie on the roads! Any Miri residents that frequent Bintang Plaza and The Imperial Mall would probably tell you that the roads in those areas are usually congested by cars and empty parking spaces are usually limited or non-existent. However, today the parking lots of these two popular shopping malls were barely half occupied. Bear in mind, it is a Sunday when every Tom, Dick and Harry are usually seen with the friends, families and so on in to town. The ever busy round about near the Bulatan Park was also void of traffic.
So my dear readers, what has happened to the residents of Miri? One resident of Miri said that perhaps Miri was finally been invaded by aliens thus the heat wave and the ‘disappearances’ of most of the population. She then went on to cite the events that occurred in Roswell, emphasizing on the similar heat wave period. Yours truly however, believes that Miri is now facing a dry and hot season. Some places have already shown signs of draught and lakes are drying at an alarming rate. Any self respecting individual would be saving water right now for a rainy day. Sorry, I mean for any emergencies, though everyone would be glad for a heavy downpour anytime soon. So dear readers, remember to control the usage of water and consume on what is needed.
What about the supposedly ‘missing’ people in town? Perhaps they find the weather too hot to venture out. Or perhaps they have been abducted by aliens….
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