a quote from Jaja's may 27th blog
"I hate people who claim to hate hypocrites when they are the hypocrite! As for me, my hupocrisy is only due to my emotions. I hate it when people who are so much older than me proves themselves to be nothing more than childishly stupid or naive! Hypocrite."
Jezsiema's blog. (check my link if u wanna read the whole thing nyeh, it's almost like what i wanna write.)
Monday, May 30, 2005
Current Mood: bad
Current Colour: black
Current Music: orlando talking
Current Annoyance: be an annoyance and to be annoyed
Current Obsession: send the email
Current Physical Ailment: still on the verge of breakdown
need i explain myself? nah. ppl wud never under stand (media so busy do they actually believe dat? of course not. y? coz assistant editor is always so free... duh! coz she is an ASISTANT, not the main!!)
should haf listen to Jaja n dun take up any responsibility... be like the old me... no responsibilities, no cares, no worries... i can do what i want, be what i want, say what i want and hell, till get top grdes without bothering to study (yeah, i haf to study now coz i'm no longer that smart.) Jaja said curtin is eating away my IQ... damn, i had an IQ almost as high as Bill Gates (he's 160, mine's 156) when i first started uni but over these years i've been taking the same test every sem and each sem my IQ gets lesser!!
"a man i known by the comapny he keeps"
nyeh, nyeh... i wonder what kind of comp[any is eating away my IQ... definitely the ppl i hang out in class... i get more creative with them... must be oneor more of the 6 or so other groups i hang out with... esp with that person that psychos me so much.. damn!!!
U know what... i'm willing to drop any responsibilities (including editing if i am force to) to get my sanity back, my dignity and my my social life. when i have to do something because of my parents ppl blame me for being so lame and stuffs... Hell, if i have to go back to brunei, it' not my fault ok... I dun drive!!! if i haf to go back from any events, meeting etc early, i have my reasons. i dun clubbing... i have my reasons.... damn. i keep uncomfortable lifestyle. maybe i should reassess my life and drop off all the unimportant stuffs...
fame get to one's head? nah, how to get to my head when nothing is right? i rather have a fuss n worry free life now. if i do what i really wanna do, do u think ppl respect me? hell, as Jaja said, curtin is ruining me.. i've changed. yeah, i guess so. bck then i never cared what ppl said but now one word can make o depressed...and to think that i cant be mean to ppl coz i dun wanna feel guilty. damn!I should haf jsut aid "f**k u" and leave all the times i'm so pressured and depressed by these ppl.. yeah, esp that person that have been psychoing me all this while. i know she is trying to do sth... make everyone hate me. damn. i think a HUGE group of ppl hates me now and after readin this more whould hate me... damn, i dun care anymore if they love her more. those who really care for me told me to ignore her... if only they knew who...
damn damn damn. life sucks. should have just appied to go to perth.t least i'll be in my element- ppl dun care abt u at all. rather be where no one is than be be with some many insecure uncaring ppl. i know why some ppl r hitting back at me... i make them look bad!!! hahahaha... self image...
U know what? i dun wanna say more. those ppl who thinks i have too much time for myself would haf lots to hate me for later...
serena
i have too much time? doin this while doin laundry la. how many sleepless nights i had these one month? who cares? no one cares. i'm not important. i'm not some royalty or famous or popular person. if i drop[ dead, bet there would be ppl saying "thank go she's gone. such an a**hole" think i dunno dat A LOT of PPL THINK I"M A LOSER?? We r all hypocrites so i know ok... U r lo$ers for not admiting it... y? do every1 know the REAL REAL u?? of course not. u put on ur best behavior. DUH! The real me? I'm a Bitch. full of revenge and yes, i dun give a damn for responsibility. all i wanna do is haf fun and shop, watch movies and hang out with frens... so sorry but I dun haf a social life so that's what i crave for now... drop all my responsibilities u said? Hello?? u saw how ppl talkso bad abt deb when she resigned fr CV? I know i'll be practically 'crucified' if i do anything CLOSE to that. hell, if i do that, (CV, council, group projects/assignments etc) Ppl would just hang me alive or bury me alive. damn.wish i never took the first step and ran for council in 2002... it gave me back the confidence i lost in brunei... life sucked in high sch but at least i had a life... hahahaha... nyehnyeh. I'll be p[rimanded when i get back to miri. i know... i would have a long list of ppl looking for me then... i know...
Current Colour: black
Current Music: orlando talking
Current Annoyance: be an annoyance and to be annoyed
Current Obsession: send the email
Current Physical Ailment: still on the verge of breakdown
need i explain myself? nah. ppl wud never under stand (media so busy do they actually believe dat? of course not. y? coz assistant editor is always so free... duh! coz she is an ASISTANT, not the main!!)
should haf listen to Jaja n dun take up any responsibility... be like the old me... no responsibilities, no cares, no worries... i can do what i want, be what i want, say what i want and hell, till get top grdes without bothering to study (yeah, i haf to study now coz i'm no longer that smart.) Jaja said curtin is eating away my IQ... damn, i had an IQ almost as high as Bill Gates (he's 160, mine's 156) when i first started uni but over these years i've been taking the same test every sem and each sem my IQ gets lesser!!
"a man i known by the comapny he keeps"
nyeh, nyeh... i wonder what kind of comp[any is eating away my IQ... definitely the ppl i hang out in class... i get more creative with them... must be oneor more of the 6 or so other groups i hang out with... esp with that person that psychos me so much.. damn!!!
U know what... i'm willing to drop any responsibilities (including editing if i am force to) to get my sanity back, my dignity and my my social life. when i have to do something because of my parents ppl blame me for being so lame and stuffs... Hell, if i have to go back to brunei, it' not my fault ok... I dun drive!!! if i haf to go back from any events, meeting etc early, i have my reasons. i dun clubbing... i have my reasons.... damn. i keep uncomfortable lifestyle. maybe i should reassess my life and drop off all the unimportant stuffs...
fame get to one's head? nah, how to get to my head when nothing is right? i rather have a fuss n worry free life now. if i do what i really wanna do, do u think ppl respect me? hell, as Jaja said, curtin is ruining me.. i've changed. yeah, i guess so. bck then i never cared what ppl said but now one word can make o depressed...and to think that i cant be mean to ppl coz i dun wanna feel guilty. damn!I should haf jsut aid "f**k u" and leave all the times i'm so pressured and depressed by these ppl.. yeah, esp that person that have been psychoing me all this while. i know she is trying to do sth... make everyone hate me. damn. i think a HUGE group of ppl hates me now and after readin this more whould hate me... damn, i dun care anymore if they love her more. those who really care for me told me to ignore her... if only they knew who...
damn damn damn. life sucks. should have just appied to go to perth.t least i'll be in my element- ppl dun care abt u at all. rather be where no one is than be be with some many insecure uncaring ppl. i know why some ppl r hitting back at me... i make them look bad!!! hahahaha... self image...
U know what? i dun wanna say more. those ppl who thinks i have too much time for myself would haf lots to hate me for later...
serena
i have too much time? doin this while doin laundry la. how many sleepless nights i had these one month? who cares? no one cares. i'm not important. i'm not some royalty or famous or popular person. if i drop[ dead, bet there would be ppl saying "thank go she's gone. such an a**hole" think i dunno dat A LOT of PPL THINK I"M A LOSER?? We r all hypocrites so i know ok... U r lo$ers for not admiting it... y? do every1 know the REAL REAL u?? of course not. u put on ur best behavior. DUH! The real me? I'm a Bitch. full of revenge and yes, i dun give a damn for responsibility. all i wanna do is haf fun and shop, watch movies and hang out with frens... so sorry but I dun haf a social life so that's what i crave for now... drop all my responsibilities u said? Hello?? u saw how ppl talkso bad abt deb when she resigned fr CV? I know i'll be practically 'crucified' if i do anything CLOSE to that. hell, if i do that, (CV, council, group projects/assignments etc) Ppl would just hang me alive or bury me alive. damn.wish i never took the first step and ran for council in 2002... it gave me back the confidence i lost in brunei... life sucked in high sch but at least i had a life... hahahaha... nyehnyeh. I'll be p[rimanded when i get back to miri. i know... i would have a long list of ppl looking for me then... i know...
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Current Mood: sombre
Current Colour: black
Current Music: Busted & McFly
Current Annoyance: sleepy
Current Obsession: sleep, sleep, sleep
Current Physical Ailment: hungry, sleepy n smelly
Nyeh... nth to put here... I love Orly. hehehehe... Hmm.. oh yeah, I updated my wishlist again TODAY. hehehehe... I want Orly leh... can I have him in a HUGE box for my birthday? hehehe.... wonder how u can transport him to Miri in less tahn 24 hours ah??? ;p
Current Colour: black
Current Music: Busted & McFly
Current Annoyance: sleepy
Current Obsession: sleep, sleep, sleep
Current Physical Ailment: hungry, sleepy n smelly
Nyeh... nth to put here... I love Orly. hehehehe... Hmm.. oh yeah, I updated my wishlist again TODAY. hehehehe... I want Orly leh... can I have him in a HUGE box for my birthday? hehehe.... wonder how u can transport him to Miri in less tahn 24 hours ah??? ;p
Monday, May 16, 2005
Current Mood: bad
Current Colour: black
Current Music: non
Current Annoyance: tired & overloaded with work & no time to rest or party
Current Obsession: finish work, work work work
Current Physical Ailment: sleep & hungry
just before i turn 21 i have one question...
who am i?
what am i?
what am i supposed to be?
WHO m i supposed to be??
do i even have an identity????
shit man i'm so depressed... i duneven know who m i supposed to be anymore. this bunch of ppl tell me i shud be like this... my parents tell me to be like that. my close classmates tell me to be like who i want to be (but how m i supposed to know??) & my best fren Jaja tell me i shud follow my heart n do what ever i want n be who ever i wanna be (carefree like i was before i step into curtin!!).... I m so stressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What can i do?????????????????????????
Current Colour: black
Current Music: non
Current Annoyance: tired & overloaded with work & no time to rest or party
Current Obsession: finish work, work work work
Current Physical Ailment: sleep & hungry
just before i turn 21 i have one question...
who am i?
what am i?
what am i supposed to be?
WHO m i supposed to be??
do i even have an identity????
shit man i'm so depressed... i duneven know who m i supposed to be anymore. this bunch of ppl tell me i shud be like this... my parents tell me to be like that. my close classmates tell me to be like who i want to be (but how m i supposed to know??) & my best fren Jaja tell me i shud follow my heart n do what ever i want n be who ever i wanna be (carefree like i was before i step into curtin!!).... I m so stressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What can i do?????????????????????????
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